Yes I agree. Most people would not view the 30-06 as a medium kicker. It would be regarded, especially for young shooters or women, as definitely in the heavy, uncomforable, class.
Given your clarification of the parameters, I now totally agree that the .280 is EXACTLY what you are looking for.
Also, I don't mean to be critical, but the advice given to you about 1,600 to 1,800 ft pounds being a minimum reliable foot pounds for "stopping power" on deer, is simply not true. Take for example the .35 Remington. It has far less ft. pounds than this at 100 yards, but drops deer stone dead at that range. The same is true of a standard factory loaded 45-70. Don't take my word for it, go over to the lever action rifle board, and the marlin lever board, and listen to the hundreds of testimonies to this fact. I have killed more than 30 deer in my lifetime, and most were killed with no more than 1,200 ft pounds, and none of them walked more than 40 yards before dropping dead.
The only bad kill I ever had was shooting a deer with a soft point 30-06 at 80 yards, a little too far back from the shoulder. The deer was hit with about 2,400 foot pounds of energy. The round went clear through, and knocked the deer down. The deer rolled over, got back on its feet, and ran almost 300 yards through very heavy woods before it fell down for good. It was still alive when I found it, and I had to give it a dispatching shot, at point blank, with another 30-06 round. What a mess. This is an example of what happens when you have too much foot pounds for the game and range you are shooting.
Foot pounds of energy is an important factor, but it is simply ONE of the 4 or 5 things you have to factor in when selecting the right round. It is not the litimus test. .
Again, the .280 seems right to me given your thoughts.
By the way, the manner in which you are focusing on knock-down power is probably best computed by looking at the Keith Taylor relative knockdown power index. This formula is posted (and can be automatically computed) on the Beartooth Bullets main website. All you do is plug in the caliber, weight, velocity etc., and you will be given the computed index. I think you would find this very interesting, and the .280 would probably come out about right for what you want.
Best of luck,
Mannyrock