Halloween Jokes

[himgirl88]

A man was walking home alone late

one foggy night, when behind him he hears:



BUMP...



BUMP...




BUMP...





Walking faster, he looks back and through the

fog he makes out the image of an upright casket

banging its way down the middle of the street

toward him.




BUMP...





BUMP...





BUMP...






Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home,

the casket bouncing quickly behind him





FASTER...





FASTER...






BUMP...







BUMP. ..






BUMP...




He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys,

opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the

door behind him.








However, the casket crashes through his door,

with the lid of the casket clapping










clappity-BUMP...






clappity-BUMP...






clappity-BUMP...





on his heels, the terrified man runs.





Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks

himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is

reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.



With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.









Bumping and clapping toward him. < BR>




The man screams and reaches for something,

anything,
but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!









Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...



















and,

















(hopefully you're really ready for this!!!)


























The coffin stops!

 

[himgirl88]

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset.

Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.

 In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.
 
A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.

As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard, (barely containing his (laughter), and who had watched the whole incident, walked up and asked, 'What the heck is going on here?'

The drunk, still staring down replied: 'I think I just beat the crap out of a ghost.' 
 

[greg916]

Deleted by Graybeard.