Your questions are in no way stupid, my friend!
Tumbling brass leaves the media (granulated walnut shells, corn cob, etc) coated with dirt, case sizing residue, brass tarnish, etc to the point that it doesn't work anymore. Look at the granulations carefully. When well-used and worn out, the sharp corners and edges are worn out and leaves them an irregular rounded blob. That is when it is time to replace the media.
I prefer to WASH mine in hot soapy water with a couple squirts of dishwashing soap. You will not believe the amount of crap and dirt that comes out even after a couple rinses! Most reloaders say simply replace the media, don't waste time washing it. I get many months of almost 24 hr operation from running the tumblers.
As for what to mix with the tumbling media, I have tried the Lyman, RCBS, Dillon, and other case cleaners, and find no difference between them. They all work. Even cheaper is liquid automotive polish, the kind for removing old oxidized paint.
As a rule, granulated walnut works best at cleaning, and granulated corn cobs works better as a final polish. If you desire that like-new sparkle to your fired brass, extended tumbling in walnut hulls, followed with corn cobs.