Author Topic: Economic Stimulus package explained  (Read 559 times)

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Offline Land_Owner

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Economic Stimulus package explained
« on: January 27, 2009, 02:09:43 AM »
Sometime this year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program.

    "Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
    "A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

    "Q. Where will the government get this money?
    "A. From taxpayers.

    "Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
    "A. No, they are borrowing it from China.  Your children are expected to repay the Chinese.

    "Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
    "A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

    "Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
    "A.  Shut up."

    If you spend that money at WalMart, all the money will go to China.

    If you spend it on gasoline, it will go to Hugo Chavez, the Arabs and Al Queda

    If you purchase a computer, it will go to Taiwan.

    If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras,  Chile, and Guatemala.

    If you buy a car, it will go to Japan and Korea.

    If you purchase prescription drugs, it will go to India

    If you purchase heroin, it will go to the Taliban in Afghanistan
         
    If you give it to a charitable cause, it will go to Nigeria.

   And none of it will help the American economy.

 We need to keep that money here in America. You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, buying lottery tickets, gambling at the dog track, going to baseball games or spending it on prostitutes, beer (domestic ONLY) or tattoos because these businesses are still in the US.

Offline GRIMJIM

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Re: Economic Stimulus package explained
« Reply #1 on: January 27, 2009, 11:53:12 AM »
$1,000.00 will get you a lot of tattoos. ;D
GBO SENIOR MEMBER "IF THAT BALL COMES IN MY YARD I'M KEEPING IT!"

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IF GOD DIDN'T WANT US TO EAT ANIMALS, WHY DID HE MAKE THEM OUT OF MEAT?

Offline Cowpox

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Re: Economic Stimulus package explained
« Reply #2 on: January 27, 2009, 01:58:54 PM »
Now, that is far greater insight than can be found in DC.

If you throw your hat in the ring for 2012, you can count on my vote.
I rode with him,---------I got no complaints. ---------Cowpox

Offline Land_Owner

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Re: Economic Stimulus package explained
« Reply #3 on: January 27, 2009, 02:14:29 PM »
Thanks for that "Vote of Confidence" Cowpox.  I wish I was smart enough to think of and write stuff like that.  It passed my desk from the Net, as have so many others, Author Unknown, and I found it necessary to share with GBO Forums.

Offline billy_56081

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Re: Economic Stimulus package explained
« Reply #4 on: January 27, 2009, 02:20:30 PM »
Heck if ya spend it on hookers you may get a gift that keeps on giving.  :D

Buying ammo and ammonium nitrate would not be a bad investment.

99% of all Lawyers give the other 1% a bad name. What I find hilarious about this is they are such an arrogant bunch, that they all think they are in the 1%.

Offline 45-70.gov

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Re: Economic Stimulus package explained
« Reply #5 on: January 27, 2009, 02:29:18 PM »
we  all  know  we  have to pay  taxes

i  paid about 40 thousand last year  in   all

i  vote for  the lessor  of 2 evils  based on gun rights and taxes

my $40k   can buy 40 voted at  $1000  each  for  them

also  it  is  hard for them to take credit for just letting you invest your own  money

so  they  upset  some  to buy  many


don't  EVER question the government during  a crisis
when drugs are outlawed only out laws will have drugs
DO WHAT EVER IT TAKES TO STOP A DEMOCRAT
OBAMACARE....the biggest tax hike in the  history of mankind
free choice and equality  can't co-exist
AFTER THE LIBYAN COVER-UP... remind any  democrat voters ''they sat and  watched them die''...they  told help to ''stand down''

many statements made here are fiction and are for entertainment purposes only and are in no way to be construed as a description of actual events.
no one is encouraged to do anything dangerous or break any laws.