Couple different schools of thought...
There are all the "boutique" frangible loads out there like Glaser "safety slugs", DRT, Powr ball, etc... Take them for what they're worth. The hype that the makers try to generate tell me that they're not everything that the maker claims. I would think that if they were that great, they're actual performance would tell the tale. As it is, no law enforcement or security agency uses any of these rounds.
From there you go to the conventional hollow point ammo. Every big name ammo maker out there makes good hollow points. Pretty much al of them have a following in law enforcement and security. The have a track record of documented real world performance. Federal Hydra-Shok and Speer Gold Dot are the issued ammo for a lot of different agencies. The ones I have first-hand knowledge of are LVMPD and USAF Space Command (the guys that guard nukes). Both use Gold Dot. Last I heard, the FBI and ATF use Hydra Shok (albeit in .40 not 9). I have Gold Dot, Hydra Shok and Golden Sabre loaded in my various 9s around the house.
The final option is the new Federal EFMJ. Basically it is an expanding FMJ round. It feeds reliably because it is still an FMJ round. It does however reliably expand, unlike normal FMJ ammo. This round was developed for the military and is designed to have the effectiveness of expanding ammo while retaining all of its weight (won't fracture or fragment) and meet the intent of the Geneva Convention ban on hollow points. This is new stuff and is just becoming available to non-military users so there isn't the track record out there yet, but being military ammo it's here to stay and as the reports from combat use come in, we'll see what the final verdict it.
Like I said, at the present, my vote is with the established conventional hollow-points. You really can't go wrong with any of them. As far as which is right for you, get a box of the likely candidates and see which feeds well in your gun. The best terminal performing bullet in the world is useless if it won't function in the gun. As to bullet weight, in a light gun, lighter bullets will be easier to control. A 115 gn bullet that hits (or two or more that do so) are infinitely more effective than a 147gn that doesn't. At close range the difference in terminal performance isn't enough to make a difference either way.
