Bill,
You have a very nice gun there. The 1886 40-82 is not the simplest caliber to reload for because the bores tend to range from .406 (supposedly the standard) to .410. Mine is an 1887 model that has been in my family since 1929, but wasn't shot until September 2007, when I bought 3 boxes of ammo from Gad Custom Cartridges for around $35 per box. My bore is .409, so I load it with .410 diameter bullets. I have to ream the neck of the brass so the loaded cartridge will fit into the chamber. Sounds like your bore might be closer to the .406 diameter, but you should probably slug the barrel to get the actual diameter.
Like you, I had never reloaded, but once I saw that there was hope, I geared up and am now reloading the old girl and really enjoy shooting her. I would be a bit concerned about the amount of recoil that you describe. I shoot 25 grains of 5744 topped off with corn meal filler, with 270 grain FNGC cast bullets. That load chronies at 1495 fps, which is right there with the factory specs, and it has a very mild recoil. Most likely the barrel on your gun is NOT a nickel steel barrel, so be very careful with "hot" loads.
You can buy 45-90 brass at Buffalo Arms for about $85 per 100. The 45-90 is the parent cartridge for the 40-82. I form my 40-82 brass from the 45-90 cases with the regular 40-82 full length sizing die. I then use a trim die to get the 2.4 inch length I need. I have gotten 12 reloads from some of the brass and they are still going strong.
Before I started shooting and loading for this gun, I searched online for two years for articles and reloading information about the 40-82. I have several published articles written by the likes of Mike Venturino, (Handloader 84 and 96), Ken Waters, (Loading the Old Ones), Dave Scoville (Rifle Magazine), and Larry O'Connel (Rifle Magazine).
I gleaned the load data from those articles and from information gathered from contributors from other forums and compiled them into an Excel spreadsheet. If you would like scans of these let me know and I will send you what I have.
This is not a gun that you want to push maximum loads through. The Scoville loads published in Rifle Magazine were from Clyde "Snooky" Williamson's work. His loads might be ok for a 40-82 with a modern barrel, but are too hot for a barrel designed for black powder pressures. They are too valuable to do that, but they are a lot of fun to shoot.
One other thing to know about the 1886 40-82 is that it was an express cartridge. What this means is that it was designed to shoot lighter bullets with a heavier powder charge to get a higher velocity. The rate of twist is 1:28 in the 40-82. This limits the bullet weight that will stabilize in that barrel. The 40-65, 40-70, and 45-70 had a higher rate of twist, so they can stabilize the longer, heavier bullets. You will have to learn about the Greenhill Formula that predicts the maximum length of a bullet that will stabilize with a given rate of twist.
Good luck with the learning process, and enjoy this gun!!
What year was the gun made??