Murphy finally died at work at the distillery. He fell into the vat of whiskey and drowned. They tried to rescue him several times but he fought them off.
(He did however manage to get out three times to pee.)
When cremated, they say the fire lasted 5 days.
St. Patricks Day is an excuse for the rest of the world to party and fight and get drunk. To the Irish, its just Tuesday, they do that every day anyway.
Murphy lay in hospital covered in bandages head to foot - with just two little slits for his eyes.
''What happened to you?'' asked Cassidy.
''I staggered out of the pub and a lorry hit me a glancing blow and knocked me through a plate glass window.''
''B'god,'' said Cassidy. ''It's a good job you had all those bandages or you'd have been cut to ribbons!''
An Irishman arrived at Logan Airport and wandered about the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks.
An airline employee asked him if he was homesick.
''No,'' replied the Irishman, ''I've lost all me luggage.''
''That's terrible, how did that happen?''
''The cork fell out of me bottle.''
