Author Topic: On the lighter side............ (Read 2964 times)

Glanceblamm · « **Reply #60 on:** May 08, 2009, 02:36:45 AM »

When we complete this listing ya could say we have...

The Whole Nine Yards.

SHOOTALL · « **Reply #61 on:** May 08, 2009, 02:55:29 AM »

or kit and kabootle

H666 · « **Reply #62 on:** May 08, 2009, 03:39:04 AM »

Here are some Icelandic ones, hope they don't loos to much in the translation:

Too late to cover the well when the kid has fallen into it.

you need to show colour (taken from playing bridge,means you got to make an effort)

That's a dog from next county (whole other story)

Stages of drinking; first you're mild, then after you get a bit in one foot you dust up, then you drink some more and get truly half, and then after putting your back into it you are on your shoulders, perhaps even your earlobes. Then probably you "die", and next morning you wake up dusty. Translation is as direct as possible.

I got to tell you a story of a man, a mercenary and legendary swordfighter in Iceland back in the year 1000 AD, give or take a hundred. He was walking from dale to dale and came where men were hearding sheep. This guy was a few pages short of the full book, and upon seeing a shepherd leaning forward on his staff, he immediately pulled his sword and lobbed the shepherds head of. Now others run to him blades pulled and inquire as to whether he was taking his vengeance on this poor shepherd, or what his crime had been. "none was the crime", said the swordfighter "he just stood so well to be chopped".

Another one cut a leg from a rival soldier and said "You don't have to look again, you were right the first time, your leg is off".

There are more still but I have to work better on the translation to be able to bring the punchline.

Sensai · « **Reply #63 on:** May 08, 2009, 04:32:28 AM »

Don't matter what you call it, it won't come anyway.

Sharp as a marble.

Some times you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.

You think the bear trap hurt, wait till the chain runs out.

Do it right, or do it again.

SHOOTALL · « **Reply #64 on:** May 08, 2009, 04:37:00 AM »

when the door opens sometimes you get the elevator sometimes you get the shaft !

Chilachuck · « **Reply #65 on:** May 08, 2009, 05:03:09 AM »

Y'all have used up all that I knew, and about twice as many I didn't.

There's more than a few forums full of fool kids, some on Geritol, that could use these sayings.

Ha! That reminds me:

"No fool like an old fool."

"Old maid in pants."

WolfTrap · « **Reply #66 on:** May 08, 2009, 05:28:20 AM »

When you're way ahead of the pack.
Look back.
They may have gone in another direction?

You got your cards wrong!

SHOOTALL · « **Reply #67 on:** May 08, 2009, 06:44:35 AM »

if you are waiting on me turn your hat around , you are backing up .

jather · « **Reply #68 on:** May 08, 2009, 11:52:18 AM »

that girl's britches was jumpin' around like a burlap bag full o' bobcats! say what you mean, mean what you say! 2-bagger: one bag for your head in case hers breaks! can't fix stupid! if you ain't the lead dog, the view's all the same! no need to beat a dead horse! does a bear crap in the woods? is a frog's butt watertight? 'pert near!! nuff said! jather.

SHOOTALL · « **Reply #69 on:** May 08, 2009, 11:59:16 AM »

that's what they make yankee flags for .

Oldshooter · « **Reply #70 on:** May 08, 2009, 01:59:55 PM »

Quote

if you ain't the lead dog, the view's all the same!

Good un!

Singleshotsam · « **Reply #71 on:** May 08, 2009, 02:27:38 PM »

Wow... i skimmed through a these... most i'd heard before but I didn't see this one

When refering to a person who can't keep their mouth shut and you know beyond a doubt that their claims are false...

"You've got an alligator mouth and a hummingbird ass"

And another favorite... "I'm gonna beat you like a rented mule!"

H666 · « **Reply #72 on:** May 09, 2009, 12:22:46 AM »

How about some livestock related ones:

Stubborn like a sheep in a ravine, walks around like a cock on a pole and a favorite of mine, sleeping like a cut ram.

Land_Owner · « **Reply #73 on:** May 09, 2009, 01:04:23 AM »

There may be snow on the roof, but there is still fire in the furnace.

Some days you are the statue and others the pigeon.

Give it to Mikey, he'll eat anything.

Got to pee like a Russian race horse.

Boy, you must two brains; the first is lost and the other is looking for you.

Shut my mouth and call me Shutter Mouth.

No good deed goes unpunished.

Looks like somebody beat them with an Ugly Stick. Nope, they used the whole tree.

If you don't like my driving, get off the sidewalk.

Carpenter's Dream: Flat as a board and never been nailed.

No news is good news.

Chip off the old block.

(sarcastically) Well done Einstein.

billy_56081 · « **Reply #74 on:** May 09, 2009, 05:54:01 AM »

I really like the term "Old Maid" for an unpopped kernel of popcorn.

nw_hunter · « **Reply #75 on:** May 09, 2009, 10:13:24 AM »

You don't miss the water, till the well runs dry.

. Remember, no one is listening until you fart.

. Never forget that you are unique, like everyone
else.

. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember
anything.

. Good judgment comes from experience. Experience
comes from bad judgment.

. The quickest way to double your money is to fold
it in half and put it back in your pocket.

. A closed mouth gathers no feet.

. There are two theories about how to win an
argument with a woman. Neither one works.

. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much if
your lips are moving.

. Experience is something you don't get until just
after you need it.

. When we are born we are naked, wet, hungry, and
we get smacked on the butt. From there on in, life
only gets worse.

. The most wasted day of all is one in which we have
not laughed.

When life seems like an uphill climb,take comfort in the
fact that your mooning everyone behind you.

nw_hunter · « **Reply #76 on:** May 09, 2009, 10:18:43 AM »

Quote from: H666 on May 09, 2009, 12:22:46 AM

How about some livestock related ones:

Stubborn like a sheep in a ravine, walks around like a cock on a pole and a favorite of mine, sleeping like a cut ram.

Good job H666! I like the last one, but I'm still thinking about the first one..............I'm slow and old

Rustyinfla · « **Reply #77 on:** May 09, 2009, 11:19:35 AM »

Arguing with a woman is like trying to teach a pig to dance... it's a terrible waste of time and only serves to annoy the pig.

About a 1/2 a bubble off plumb.

Had a preacher at our church a few months ago that said"She wasn't wearin enough clothes to wad a shotgun."

She fell out of the ugly tree and hit every limb on the way down.

Everything you've got to say ain't worth hearin.

Never pass up a good opportunity to just shut up.

Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you were after in the first place.

A rut is a grave with both ends knocked out.

The biggest room in the world is the room for improvement.
Life is too short to dance with ugly women or drink bad coffee.

On weak coffee: I tried to tell them it don't take that much water to make a pot of coffee.

Prime the pump.

Hairtrigger · « **Reply #78 on:** May 09, 2009, 12:12:46 PM »

Quote from: Rustyinfla on May 09, 2009, 11:19:35 AM

.

On weak coffee: I tried to tell them it don't take that much water to make a pot of coffee.

Like being in a canoe... close to water

H666 · « **Reply #79 on:** May 10, 2009, 12:24:04 AM »

NW_Hunter:

When a sheep is chased into a ravine during sheep herding, it generally makes an effort to run up to the bottom of the ravine, shuffle around in there despite your good intentions to get it out, and the either climbs straight up out of the ravine or runs down it and turns the opposite way to the one you intend for it.

Those who have been shepherds know my distress. Sheep in a ravine is the dummest, most stubborn thing a man will ever try to move. And they can (and will) run till they drop. Then you either leave it there to collect it later or you hoist it on to your shoulders. Carrying it around goes on for about one agonising minute as the sheep remembers it's full of energy so ultimately you both fall down and the sheep runs into the doggone ravine again.

Feel free to ask more; I love sharing stories in here.

H666 · « **Reply #80 on:** May 10, 2009, 12:29:16 AM »

Runs like a tailshot fox.
Runs like a burned cat.

=fast frantic running.

Sensai · « **Reply #81 on:** May 10, 2009, 12:52:14 AM »

Learn from other people's mistakes, you won't live long enough to make them all yourself!!

Just when you think you've got it figured out, you forget what "it" is.

I sure wish I knew as much as I did when I was your age.

It ain't what you don't know that'll hurt you, it's what you know that ain't so.

I guess the ducks are really enjoying this weather.

Tommyt · « **Reply #82 on:** May 10, 2009, 01:55:04 AM »

Hotter than a 2 dollar Pistol

You know the song !!

Rustyinfla · « **Reply #83 on:** May 10, 2009, 09:09:17 AM »

Thought of another one,We should all learn from other people's mistakes. Lord knows you'll never live long enough to make them all yourself.

H666 · « **Reply #84 on:** May 10, 2009, 10:01:36 AM »

You haven't eaten the soup though it's in your spoon.

Old Icelandic one.

james · « **Reply #85 on:** May 10, 2009, 10:37:47 AM »

If someone thinks you're stupid, why open yer mouth and remove all doubt.
She was mean enough to go bear hunting with a switch.
Its hard to soar with the eagles when you're around a bunch of turkeys.

Oldshooter · « **Reply #86 on:** May 10, 2009, 03:27:37 PM »

When asked how are you doing a friend always said: "I'm in good shape for the shape I'm In!"

"Every time I get all the answers, somebody changes the Questions."

Heather · « **Reply #87 on:** May 11, 2009, 06:15:09 AM »

An old man I've seen a few times always says when I ask him how he is....

"OH Fair to midland."

You can kill more flies with honey than vinegar.

When the going gets tough the tough get going.

When someone is sad...Her face couldn't have been a deeper shade of blue.

when someone is jeaslous....Her eyes were glowing green.

SHOOTALL · « **Reply #88 on:** May 11, 2009, 09:53:21 AM »

high as a Ga. pine and getting higher

Tommyt · « **Reply #89 on:** May 16, 2009, 06:12:48 AM »

Shave and a Hair CUT......................................... 2 bits