Author Topic: A crisis in our marriage (Read 2692 times)

Questor · « **on:** May 03, 2009, 06:27:37 AM »

My kids are teenagers now. After they are grown I will want to get out of the north country and move to the south. Problem is that my wife is a northerner and doesn't like heat. I will be trying to convince her of the wisdom of southern life for an older person, like fewer joint aches, a lot of other old people to socialize with, gardening 12 months a year (or almost that), etc. Have you had to deal with this sort of thing?

This is the sort of thing that could wreck a marriage if it is not properly handled.

I realize that the right answer here is "what were you thinking, moron!?! Didn't you take any of those southern belles into account when you were younger?". Oh well. I can't do anything about that now. I just need to look on to a good future.

Sourdough · « **Reply #1 on:** May 03, 2009, 06:44:41 AM »

My son is 20, he is the one in our family screaming the loudest to move south. Wife likes her job and our house, she don't want to move, or retire.

One of my brothers is constantly reminding me, "That's what happens when you marry a D----d Yankee". I'm the only one of the five not living in either Tennessee or Texas.

Oh well, she lets me go to Florida for Jan, Feb, and March every year, can't complain too much.

Hairtrigger · « **Reply #2 on:** May 03, 2009, 06:49:51 AM »

Take a long vacation to the south, she may get the idea it is not so bad.

kinslayer1965 · « **Reply #3 on:** May 03, 2009, 06:54:16 AM »

Questor,

As I live in South Florida I can tell you that it does get hot and the humidity is somethingto behold during the summer. I can also tell you there are some nice things to say about playing golf in January and wearing shorts.

She would adapt fairly quick. First summer might be rough but by the second she would wonder what took her so long to makethe move.

CR

DalesCarpentry · « **Reply #4 on:** May 03, 2009, 07:06:46 AM »

I have the same arguement with my wife. I will be 43 in a couple days. I just plain hate the cold anymore. I would love to move south. She wants no part of it. I lived all over Florida for 13 years and miss the ocean and the warm weather. If you figure out how to get her to move there, let me in on the secert. Dale

Heather · « **Reply #5 on:** May 03, 2009, 07:09:40 AM »

Simple solution to a complex problem. Introduce your wife to sweet tea, fried green tomatoes, grits, and other southern staples. You won't be able to keep her away!

Heather

UAD7116 · « **Reply #6 on:** May 03, 2009, 07:30:49 AM »

I kinda had the same problem, except I was born and raised in the south and my wife was from Minnesota, we meet in the south and got married there. After some years of complaining about the HEAT & HUMIDITY, she started talking about moving to Minnesota. I was alright with the decision except for work, climate, and moving away from everything I've ever known. Well to make a long story short "IF THE WIFE AINT HAPPY NOBODY IS" and it sure is going to be COLD this winter in Minnesota!!! Kris

kinslayer1965 · « **Reply #7 on:** May 03, 2009, 08:04:32 AM »

Heather,

I hope your husband realizes what a jem he has married.

It has been 20 years since I had fried green tomatos. Not somethingyou hear mentioned in cookong circles to be sure. Makes for a darn fine meal.

CR

handi243 · « **Reply #8 on:** May 03, 2009, 08:18:21 AM »

I'm going to MONTANA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

30-30man · « **Reply #9 on:** May 03, 2009, 08:26:46 AM »

Can't really say I can identify with you. My wife is the picture of a submisive wife. She usually goes with me as long as I include her and have a good reason. I would not have married her if she wanted to wear the shoes. A man needs to be a man or it will not work. You need to include her though, if you don't want to end up sleeping by yourself if you know what I mean. My wife has a sign in our kitchen that says, " He may be the rooster of this pen, but I rule the rooster!" I laugh everytime I fix my coffee in the mornings.

wareagleguy · « **Reply #10 on:** May 03, 2009, 08:28:34 AM »

Fried green tomatos?

Oh, you mean fried green maters!!

Heather · « **Reply #11 on:** May 03, 2009, 08:31:24 AM »

Quote from: wareagleguy on May 03, 2009, 08:28:34 AM

Fried green tomatos?

Oh, you mean fried green maters!!

Yep! Nothing better than gettting some fresh maters from the garden, washing them, and frying em up for dinner! Don't forget the fried squash and okra! Good eatin!

Heather

Dee · « **Reply #12 on:** May 03, 2009, 08:53:25 AM »

I find myself becoming squeamish about giving advice to marrieds, but I have an over-whelming string of symptoms discouraging me from enticing Yankees to move to the south. That just does not seem wise, being a southerner, and given my past experience with the ones that have moved down here.

Questor, the lady likes where she lives. Why disrupt a happy "well placed" marriage for your own self-indulgence? It is hot, humid, and sticky down here. We southerners are ignorant, and dirty, we marry our sisters, and our cousins, and all we want to do, is sit on the porch, sharpen knives, clean guns, and plan our next Klan meeting.
She wouldn't like it down here, and I don't blame her. Hell, I'm thinkin I might move to Illinois or even California, to get out of this hell hole myself.

Hodr · « **Reply #13 on:** May 03, 2009, 09:05:18 AM »

Set up a resort trip during nice weather. Take her down and go shopping, go shopping, go shopping, for anything she has a great intrest in. When you get home go on the internet and look up cities demographicly. Fund areas with everything she needs to live happily in the years to come. Light taxes, medical care, churches, shopping, dining, community events and festivals, clear skyies, day trip or two day trip things to do. Took 2 years of showing my wife what was available but you couldn't get her to leave here if she won the lottery.

blindhari

Dee · « **Reply #14 on:** May 03, 2009, 09:16:05 AM »

Bring her down in August, and tell her to dress warm.

Better still, the hurricane season.

Tommyt · « **Reply #15 on:** May 03, 2009, 09:43:49 AM »

I fell your Wife is Correct No real reason to come to Florida it awful hot ,Bugs every where ,Bad Storms

tommyt
happily living in Fl. for 37yrs.

Savage_99 · « **Reply #16 on:** May 03, 2009, 10:06:27 AM »

Questor,

I would like to move to a warmer climate as well from here in CT. Suppose you just have to sell the idea to your wife and answer all of her reasons against it.

My wife would consider moving however we don't want to leave our son. I am 70 now and the wife is a little younger. We count on him.

williamlayton · « **Reply #17 on:** May 03, 2009, 12:37:56 PM »

Heck fire boys, I live in Houston and i am looking fpr warmer climes. You know, NOTHING below 70 and i don't care how hot or humid.
I am not big on learning Spanish though.
Cuba might be a good spot if things work out right in the political climate.
The Hen wouln't go, but maybe Sourdough would give me some ponters for getting J,F,M out of the deal.

Blessings

kansasj · « **Reply #18 on:** May 03, 2009, 02:10:20 PM »

You see us guys don't care---If we like where we are we really don't care where we live as long as we have three hots and a cot and good huntin and fishin. Women on the other hand value "security" which to them is, a paid for home, their circle of friends, knowing where to shop and on and on. Men don't care. Try the pity thing first ie "all my life my secret dream was to live in the south-the people are so nice there and it is warm" If that don't work you might try adventure-- Honey would'nt it be exciting to move, make new friends and renew our relationship all over again, Just think we could garden together and have coffee and the paper outside in the warm sun! If nothing like that works your stuck!

billy_56081 · « **Reply #19 on:** May 03, 2009, 02:20:19 PM »

I'm planning on moving to North Texas from MN. I liked the winters but now they are getting longer. I'm hoping Dee will welcome me and the wife.

kansasj · « **Reply #20 on:** May 03, 2009, 02:27:10 PM »

Move close to lake texoma so you can take Dee fishing and the wife will be busy setting up the new cottage.

Dee · « **Reply #21 on:** May 03, 2009, 02:44:56 PM »

Quote from: kansasj on May 03, 2009, 02:27:10 PM

Move close to lake texoma so you can take Dee fishing and the wife will be busy setting up the new cottage.

Boy kansasj. That was low.

billy_56081 has had me on ignore for months, and now he wants me to welcome him? That is funny.

He not so secretly reads my posts, and pretends not to, by leaving me on ignore.
billy, I won't however take you to Lake Texhoma as the jayhawker suggested

, but I might, if you behave yourself, take you to a multitude of private lakes that I fish on, with zero crowds. I warn you though. No bass boats or campers at my house. Just Jeeps, canoes, and tents. I am old school, but I catch fish, kill hogs, and hunt squirrel. I am one of those guys Hank Jr. was talking about surviving.

slim rem 7 · « **Reply #22 on:** May 03, 2009, 02:52:25 PM »

be slow about putting her dn here as she may blame you for all our little unique ways of doing things ,,for the rest of your life..
take a vacation down here an don t pressure her to like it..
also when you do get dn here we hope you participate.. but please don t come dn here an assume we need you to fix everything right..
we have heard this before from transplants,,brother let me tell you,, it gets old..now you welcome here,inthe south..give us time ,,our ways, kinda grow on you..but please don t come change us or try to straiten us out..i know several that came down an in a years time had allienated half thier neighbors..so take time an blend in.. you ll
be glad you did. slim

Brett · « **Reply #23 on:** May 03, 2009, 03:01:34 PM »

I hear Yankees melt down here in the summer. And all that fried food we eat down here doesn't agree with the delicate Yankee digestive system. Best listen to your wife and stay up north.

CannonKrazy · « **Reply #24 on:** May 03, 2009, 03:24:58 PM »

Quote from: Dee on May 03, 2009, 08:53:25 AM

I find myself becoming squeamish about giving advice to marrieds, but I have an over-whelming string of symptoms discouraging me from enticing Yankees to move to the south. That just does not seem wise, being a southerner, and given my past experience with the ones that have moved down here.

Questor, the lady likes where she lives. Why disrupt a happy "well placed" marriage for your own self-indulgence? It is hot, humid, and sticky down here. We southerners are ignorant, and dirty, we marry our sisters, and our cousins, and all we want to do, is sit on the porch, sharpen knives, clean guns, and plan our next Klan meeting.
She wouldn't like it down here, and I don't blame her. Hell, I'm thinkin I might move to Illinois or even California, to get out of this hell hole myself.

Plus we got skeeters down here too. Bigguns.

Swampman · « **Reply #25 on:** May 03, 2009, 03:30:16 PM »

Consider Tennessee, it's the best of everything.

nomosendero · « **Reply #26 on:** May 03, 2009, 03:41:18 PM »

Friends don't let their friends marry Yankees.

30-30man · « **Reply #27 on:** May 03, 2009, 04:40:21 PM »

Quote from: Dee on May 03, 2009, 08:53:25 AM

I find myself becoming squeamish about giving advice to marrieds, but I have an over-whelming string of symptoms discouraging me from enticing Yankees to move to the south. That just does not seem wise, being a southerner, and given my past experience with the ones that have moved down here.

Questor, the lady likes where she lives. Why disrupt a happy "well placed" marriage for your own self-indulgence? It is hot, humid, and sticky down here. We southerners are ignorant, and dirty, we marry our sisters, and our cousins, and all we want to do, is sit on the porch, sharpen knives, clean guns, and plan our next Klan meeting.
She wouldn't like it down here, and I don't blame her. Hell, I'm thinkin I might move to Illinois or even California, to get out of this hell hole myself.

You just made me pee in my britches....I wanted to say the same thing, but didn't know how...I guess it's cause my family tree goes straight up..There are no branches....He got it right...Stay where you are...We don't need anymore Yankees here. I see them all the time. The first thing they do is build a 8ft fence around the whole dang yard and put an electric gate in the front. It doesn't take long for all the neighbors to hate them...Be safe stay where you are!

squirrellluck · « **Reply #28 on:** May 03, 2009, 05:08:45 PM »

You shoulda planned ahead! I married a yankee, been about 19 great years if my math is right. Moved to Ind. Told her day would come that I would go home and would like her to go with me but she would have to make up her own mind. She decided to come with me. We vacationed down here a lot. My family made her feel like family and welcome. She now hates the cold weather as much as I. Good luck

45-70.gov · « **Reply #29 on:** May 03, 2009, 05:43:15 PM »

YOU YANKEES STAY PUT

owl gore said with global warming yor people will not be cold for long

my dad married a yankee
but they raised me in the south properly with guns, iced tea and grits