Author Topic: something for fathers to think about.. (Read 753 times)

slim rem 7 · « **on:** May 13, 2009, 12:17:18 AM »

i raised two sons.. a father needs think about this..
in order for them to arive, perse.. sooner or later they need to best you at stuff.. from boxing ring to shooting to what ever competition..
it does not hurt to be beaten by your son ,,an makes him feel like hes ready to take on the world..its usually easy because you have gotten older an hes just a year or two from his peak..first time you get the opportunity to give him the win honestly.. its the one time you a better man to give it to somebody.. hes gotta know he did it honest tho.. or you do more damage than good..
then you can set back an thank the lord for for giving you a son like that.. just a thought here a quarter of 6 in the morning an looking back..slim

Graybeard · « **Reply #1 on:** May 13, 2009, 01:32:09 AM »

As far as shooting is concerned that day still hasn't come. None of my boy's can outshoot me whether with handgun, rifle or shotgun but then there ain't a whole lotta folks in this state who can. Now we used to wrestle a lot me and both Bobby the oldest and Matt #2. That ended a long time ago. I'd not stand a chance at that anymore. My strength isn't what it once was and with my shortness of breath issues I'd last about 30 seconds at most.

burntmuch · « **Reply #2 on:** May 13, 2009, 01:39:04 AM »

My boy,s 20 mths old . The way he,s built so far he,ll be wooping my A$$ at the age of 12 or so. So Im getting my licks in now.

. Agreed though.

slim rem 7 · « **Reply #3 on:** May 13, 2009, 01:54:06 AM »

yea our sons an daughters are great.. grey beard ,i had no idea you were that gooda marksman.. thats great . now theres a man that keeps his attributes to hisself ,least i didn t know it..
just goes to show the one you really got to look at hard is the quiet achiever.. he ll surprise you..slim

Oldtimer · « **Reply #4 on:** May 13, 2009, 02:08:29 AM »

We teach how to win, and how to lose. Life deals with a lot of failures. An old Japanese saying is "fall down six times, get up seven." When you are honestly whipped, it is the time to show how a man deals with that, too. I have heard a lot of people say they learned a lot more from their failures than their successes. The modern thinking for children seems to be "all wins, no losses." This just leads to kids who are only half prepared to go out into the real world.

slim rem 7 · « **Reply #5 on:** May 13, 2009, 02:53:38 AM »

i agree oldtimer nothing weaker than a scrapper that comes appart when he looses.. seen many like that an if you can t stand losing ,,don t get in the game.. but father, son, at least ours was different..
i was how they measured men ..including them selves..
i know what i did was honest .. they had bested me..
somebody else woulda caused me to dig deeper ,that just how a fighter is.. but i ain t gonna use any lethal blows on my son.. heck its hard enough to even boxum an land on the face..but it had its purpose an my oldest was the only white boy left in a golden gloves because the coach just didn t think white boys had any buisiness there..
my son was right in there hit hard or having landed a hard shot.. you ginna get bragging here in a minute..thet fine men..
ps now being honest,, did i pull punches just a bit.. you dang right.. no man can put everything into a punch to his sons nose..i found that to be more than i could do.. but the affects for him were the same..

slim rem 7 · « **Reply #6 on:** May 13, 2009, 03:15:14 AM »

it occurs to me some may be thinking well slim you didn take that last lose too well.. let me tell you something .. faceing the fact that you are not an never will be again,, able to even defend yourself.. is not like losing a scrap..its almost like dieing..if you have been a capable man in that area of life..
so don t misunderstand,, you younger fellas age an deteriation is coming at you like a frieght train..see how you like it, when it runs over you..slim

Graybeard · « **Reply #7 on:** May 13, 2009, 10:49:59 AM »

Quote from: slim rem 7 on May 13, 2009, 01:54:06 AM

yea our sons an daughters are great.. grey beard ,i had no idea you were that gooda marksman.. thats great . now theres a man that keeps his attributes to hisself ,least i didn t know it..
just goes to show the one you really got to look at hard is the quiet achiever.. he ll surprise you..slim

I shot very actively in competition for around 30 years or more I guess with handgun, rifles and shotguns. I brought far more trophies home than I have room to store during that time. I've given many away as prizes to younger shooters in matches we held at my best friend Billy Doss' house. Billy is no longer with us and I sure miss his companionship. He and I were best friends and running and shooting buddies for years and it was rare when one or the other of us didn't bring home a first place trophy when we went to a match and it was not uncommon for first and second both to come back with us. Like me he was a three gun (handgun, rifle and shotgun) competitor. I'd have put the pair of us against any pair in the nation in a three gun match when in our prime.

We also shot a lot of money games and generally always walked away with pockers holding more than they did when we came.

When my oldest son Bobby was coming along I was most actively shooting skeet and some trap and even owned a skeet and trap range. He began at about age 10 or 11 and went on to win the sub junior state title that year and made the all state team as a sub junior. At one match we went to we had our pictures taken with our trophies and years later the guy running the range there pulled out a photo of us and asked wasn't that me. He gave me the photo.

I had won three of four gun championships at that match plus the high over all trophy for the entire shoot and my class championship in the one gauge I failed to win gun champion at. Bobby won his class in both 12 and 20 gauge which was all he shot at the time. He used a 20 gauge to shoot both. We had seven trophies laid out in front of us that day.

When Matt was coming along I was primarily shooting handgun competition and he got to go to matches with me all over Alabama and GA and managed to bring home some trophies of his own for winning his class.

I'm not as steady as I once was my hands shake a lot these days and my eyes aren't quite what they once were but I can still shoot fairly well as the folks from the GBO Prairie Dog shoots can attest.

Sourdough · « **Reply #8 on:** May 13, 2009, 11:51:22 AM »

I'm 60 and my sons are 37 and 20.

When Kirk the oldest turned 18 I was 50. Kirk had lived with his mother and her family from the time he was 4 till he was 16. When he got too much to handle his Mom sent him to me to straighten out. Right after his 18th birthday, Kirk started getting a little too big for his britches. I was working in the garage one day when he grabbed me from behind in a bear hug. As he lifted me off the floor, he whispers in my ear, "What you going to do now OLD MAN". I was holding a 12" crescent wrench in my hand. I flicked my wrist, Kirk fell to the floor gasping for air. His buddy leaned over and said, "Kirk I learned to not mess with the old man, he can hurt you". With Kirks attitude I never dared to let him best me at anything.

Now Skyler is an entirely different story. At the age of 13 we entered a shooting competition with .22s. Darned if he did not beat me. I practiced and two weeks later we entered another competition. I beat him this time just bearly. At archery he has practiced and if I was to not practice he would again beat me. In other words it's a struggle to keep ahead of him with archery. Shooting pistols he can't come close with me and he won't even try, he just does his best and let's it go. BUT then there is the physical aspect. Since my by-pass he has been able to outdo me at anything requiring physical mobility or stamina. As I said before Sky is 20 and I am 60. Sky is a body builder, and has muscles bulging everywhere. He is strong, real strong, he thinks nothing of picking up a three hundred pound snow machine and moving it. Sky is always watching out for me, and helping me, so I don't hurt myself. In other words Sky takes care of me, while he has never beaten me at anything physical, we both know there is no way I could stand up and match him at anything other than determination. Plus his big brother told him when he turned 18, "Don't mess with the old man he will hurt you".

Both my boys have lots of self esteem, and confidence. Kirk is an E-7 in the Navy and supervises some pretty rough construction crews. Sky is studying to be an engineer and has two more years of college to go. Sky just reached his weight of 180 lbs, for a person 5'6" tall. Now he is ready to enter body building competition.

RaySendero · « **Reply #9 on:** May 13, 2009, 01:33:28 PM »

Quote from: slim rem 7 on May 13, 2009, 12:17:18 AM

i raised two sons.. a father needs think about this..
in order for them to arive, perse.. sooner or later they need to best you at stuff.. from boxing ring to shooting to what ever competition..
it does not hurt to be beaten by your son ,,an makes him feel like hes ready to take on the world..its usually easy because you have gotten older an hes just a year or two from his peak..first time you get the opportunity to give him the win honestly.. its the one time you a better man to give it to somebody.. hes gotta know he did it honest tho.. or you do more damage than good..
then you can set back an thank the lord for for giving you a son like that.. just a thought here a quarter of 6 in the morning an looking back..slim

My son is will turn 22 next month. He has always been very competitive! Looking back, there are some things I was interesting in him learning that I would let him win to keep his interest and some things I NEVER let him win!

By 10, he was catching more and bigger fish than I was at times. He was throwing a baseball faster than I could and beating me at golf at age 15 and lifting more weight than I by 16. He won once in skeet - But my edge, if any, is now real slim maybe a toss-up. He's not shot a limit of dove before I have on any hunt yet, but he's getting close - Out shooting all my friends and buddies. He's bettered me several times with a pistol but not with a rifle yet.

Thanks Slim - Was fun to reminisce.

ironglow · « **Reply #10 on:** May 13, 2009, 02:19:09 PM »

At 72 I must admit my sons jumped ahead of me physically, years ago. My eldest, when he was 17 and a wrestler finally took me down. That evening he went out a smashed up a pickup truck, became a parapalegic and lived 10 more years, dying in 1985. My younger son came on a bit later..
Now it is my grandsons (3) from my younger son and only living child.

#1 Grandson is a tough elite military (see photo & explanation in "round the potbellied stove") #10 reply in my thread, "We were warned...from all different angles" ..one of his assignments in Iraq was being a designated unit sniper.

#2 Grandson, college age working and attending school..his chosen sport.."mixed martial arts" in the octagonal cage.

#3 Grandson working & school..big enough that he has to duck for normal doorways & ceiling fans.

Can they whip me ? I have no illusions..But I know they will never challenge Gramps..

Their little sister, 10 years old is Gramp's little beauty..a little martial arts experience..and she can shoot..
being trained by same old man who first trained the elite military shooter...

teamnelson · « **Reply #11 on:** May 13, 2009, 02:35:11 PM »

I had to start some family traditions in my tribe as I came from what unfortunately has become the definition of an American family. Anyway, at 12 my wife and daughter went up in the hills of Georgia for a weekend, and she took my daughter through a rite of passage - we're not wizards or anything, just symbolic. And from that point forward we no longer referred to her as a child, and she received a hope chest with some things in it to prepare her for the future. She just got accepted to the preview week at the Coast Guard Academy this summer, and hopes to get accepted after high school.

At 12 my son and I camped out on the beach, went through a PADI certification course together, and we had a rite of passage. Very intentional face to face here's what a man is conversation, with some prayer and Bible reading. He got his own .357 revolver to ensure that he would always be able to protect and provide (he mastered his .22 a long time ago). He is referred to as a man ever since, by me in front of anybody - wouldn't even pay the child's price at a restaraunt or theater. As any farmer will tell you, you don't raise seeds, you raise crops. We don't raise children in our house, we raise men and women.

So my son is a black belt in TKD; he wanted me to start with him, and I intentionally did not. I waited a few years until he got his black belt and became an instructor, THEN I enrolled as a student, and I rendered him all honor due his role in the do-jon. He's 14 now, and a whole lot bigger; I may still outweight him by 100#, and stand over him a foot, but we've tested each other on the mat and I can't match his speed and flexibility - its magical. As long as he's moving, I'm losing.

He sheepdogs his older (and petite) sister wherever we go, and he doesn't even know it. I have no doubt that she's as safe with him walking the 'hood we live in as if I was there, and I tell him so. One day he'll make a better husband and father than me, and that is where I would gladly be bested.

Thanks for this thread. They're both working in Montana this summer break so we'll have our first taste of empty-nest syndrome. I act like I can't wait to get rid of them, but I'm going to miss them.

ironglow · « **Reply #12 on:** May 13, 2009, 04:35:20 PM »

Way to go, TeamNelson..I can only applaud you.. Character is built this way.

no guns here · « **Reply #13 on:** May 13, 2009, 09:25:14 PM »

Well, shoot... I guess I'm catching up with y'all.

Daughter number one can outshoot me ANY day of the week with her precision air rifle. She routine shoots 95 in standing, 98 or so in prone, and mid 90's in kneeling. I don't even try to challenge her. I think I could keep up in prone if I practiced more though. She can't beat me in anything else though.

Daughter number two doesn't shoot much at all but can out run me easily for distance. But then I have asthma and she doesn't.

Son number one still thinks he can beat me but last time he tried to wrestle me he ended up on the ground for a second or two and then I carried him around for a couple of minutes on my shoulder. He's 15 and almost as tall as me. He'll fill out and then I'll be in trouble... He shoots the air gun fair but not great. I think I can beat him but haven't tried.

Son number two is 9 but he whips my butt at checkers...

NGH

slim rem 7 · « **Reply #14 on:** May 13, 2009, 09:39:19 PM »

greybeard ,i say this not patronizing you.. you have lived life as well as any father i know..i wish i could say i did as well. i was constantly working a reg job an running a side buisiness so i missed a lot of times ,i wish i could get back.. my hats off to you.. you an dang impressive shooter too. :)slim
ps to all of you... books oughta be written about this stuff.
i you have written this dn..its priceless to your family.. an really some of it would make great movies.. so much better than this [oh well i killed 92 people ,for i lost count today ]movies of today..slim

rimfire · « **Reply #15 on:** May 14, 2009, 02:56:32 AM »

I have two daughters 7 and 9 and momma is currently facing terminal brain tumor. I am so hoping that I can be a good father and do right by them when we are all suffering through the next few years. Didn't mean to bum anyone out with that if it did.

I hope that they kick my butt at shooting one day, and I am pretty good with a rifle or pistol. They have changed the rules at several local club shoots to try and keep me from winning too much. I quit competing too much when I realized that. Felt self-conscious that I was alientaing people and their egos. Hey...I have one too!

I have a child's Cricket 22 they enjoy when I can get them to calm down long enough to shoot, but only by themselves. They get too crazy together.

Older daughter outfished me last week and caught two really nice bass. I got a real kick out of it, although listening to younger daughter bumming about it was challenging. Made her sad to watch her sister catch two big bass so I had to stop her older sister from fishing so the younger could catch the most fish. Told everyone the next day, in front of the girls, that I took my daughters fishing and they kicked my butt. They laughed long and hard and it was most enjoyable for me. Hopefully they will continue to go with me as they get older. Fishing, hunting and shooting are so much a part of my life that I really hope I can relate to them through these hobbies. It will make it a lot harder if they don't enjoy them.

slim rem 7 · « **Reply #16 on:** May 14, 2009, 07:15:50 AM »

well i hope you are a believer but if not ,i am.. you will be in my prayers tonite..slim

rimfire · « **Reply #17 on:** May 14, 2009, 07:20:03 AM »

Thanks slim.

teamnelson · « **Reply #18 on:** May 14, 2009, 08:58:27 AM »

Rimfire, thank you for allowing us to walk with you through this time. You and your family will be lifted before the throne of grace by me and my family. Blessings.

ironglow · « **Reply #19 on:** May 14, 2009, 11:41:02 PM »

Rimfire;
Chjeck your personal messages..Lifting you and yours in prayer.....Ironglow