+1 on the revolver.
I've owned plenty of both, and carried autos during my military career. Love 'em all, and with appropriate training & practice either auto or revolver is completely suitable.
My wife & daughters have hand-strength issues, too, and they struggle with the slides on autos. This can be overcome with technique, but that takes practice.
Even more importantly, they can hit what they're shooting at for self-defense purposes, but they aren't "into" guns and so they don't practice. Therefore, they get confused over the difference between safety catches, takedown levers, magazine releases, etc. on an auto. On a DA revolver, it's point & pull. If a crisis ever occurs, and that's what self-defense is by definition, they can get a revolver into action and keep it going for a cylinder's worth, at least. That should be enough in most cases for civilians.
Cops & military face a different set of problems, such as large numbers of bad guys with lots of firepower, AND the requirement to go into harm's way. For civilian SD, you don't have to go after bad guys. . . .I was career Army, and was very comfortable with the M1911A1 and the Beretta--wouldn't have wanted a revolver.
For my personal SD/HD now, I'd be fine with an auto; however, I know that my revolver will sit there in its drawer or case, or under the bed, ready at any time with all springs AT REST. In other words, no need to swap out magazines to rest the springs as the months and years go by. Although modern auto pistol mags are highly reliable, I don't want my individual specimen to have a problem when I need it, so I eliminate that consideration and use a revolver. Plus, my girls can pick up any sidearm here and get it into action w/o hesitation.