Author Topic: How close have you gotten to killing one of your kids? (Read 1250 times)

Questor · « **on:** July 14, 2009, 03:57:18 PM »

About a month ago my son ripped the power chord out of our laptop computer, thus wrecking the internal connector and doing pretty serious damage. Today I got home and he had messed up the operating system, apparently by interrupting the computer while Windows was being updated last night. I was furious! He is also the one who installed something like 250 viruses at one fell swoop about a year and a half ago. I have been using computers for almost 30 years and have never had to have one repaired. They just become gradually out-dated. This kid is a monster! He should not be allowed within 1000 yards of any electronic device.

Fortunately I figured out how to complete the Windows upgrade, and it "only" took about 2 hours to do it.

I'm still smouldering over this one.

What should I do to him: hanging, firing squad, poison, blunt instrument? a week with Barack Obama? What!?!

Datil · « **Reply #1 on:** July 14, 2009, 04:28:00 PM »

Questor, You Might like a girl I know, She could beat her son till she wore out, did no good,
She started keeping in his room about 3 days could not come except go to the bath room.
He had to eat in his room. About rounds of 3 of 3 days he started staighten up. Other I don't know
what to tell you. Most things you do him will get you in trouble with the law. Datil

Oldshooter · « **Reply #2 on:** July 14, 2009, 04:31:57 PM »

Having raised 7 I can understand your feelings! Depends on his age, if hes under 10, whip his behind! If he's over that make him get a job and pay for the damages. What ever the punishment stick to your guns, Don't renege!

The stuff other than an ass whipping is frowned upon by child protective services, they dont have kids of their own!

LONGTOM · « **Reply #3 on:** July 14, 2009, 04:56:09 PM »

Take him hunting and enjoy your time together while you can.
Who knows what tomorrow may bring.
They all grow up to soon!

LONGTOM

burntmuch · « **Reply #4 on:** July 14, 2009, 04:56:24 PM »

Great question Questor. My 2 y/o has peeled about 12 keys of my laptop. every day for the last 3 mths. Im typing by memory right now.

Spanky · « **Reply #5 on:** July 14, 2009, 05:08:30 PM »

Do you wear a belt??

Spanky

crustaceous · « **Reply #6 on:** July 14, 2009, 05:12:05 PM »

Time to call your parents and have them remind you of your angelic youth!

bubba · « **Reply #7 on:** July 15, 2009, 12:26:55 AM »

how about a little parental intervention and sit there while he is on the puter to see what he is doing and offer some guidance as to what he should ad should not do while he is on the puter. If you have went 30 years with no problems pass on the vast knowledge you obviously have rather than gripe he isnt doing it right when he hasnt been taught. And when that doesnt work password the puter so he is only on when you say. In other words take csome control of the situation.

gypsyman · « **Reply #8 on:** July 15, 2009, 01:22:11 AM »

Never felt like killing them, but tanning their backside has occurred. What does he really like to do? When he mess's up big time, deny it. My oldest boy, if I took his fishing time away, would be punishment beyond belief. gypsyman

slim rem 7 · « **Reply #9 on:** July 15, 2009, 01:27:14 AM »

you have my sympathy.. we raised 5... 2boys,3girls..you can t killum ...you gotta loveum thru it...
the method i developed for controlling my kids was as follows... first make sure they know whats acceptable an whats not...when they do the unacceptable they go to thier room for an hour an wait.. when i come in its absolute... 3 licks on the clothed butt.
  i found that the hour waiting an the absolute no argument ,,,knowledge that three licks were coming,,accomplished several things...1st,, it left them no doubt ,they knew nthey could count on dad to do what he said he would do..2nd it left me an hour so i never spanked in anger... 3rd ,,it got to the point that the fear an absolute knowledge of what was coming was worse than the three licks..the licks didn t even have to be hard ,,to be affective...which was the best thing for me ,,as i really hated striking my children even in spankings..
   after i developed this method,,i think i could count on one hand ,,the number of spankings i had to give all my kids...
   you got to show them you are gonna do what you say,, an that you are dependable..
good luck an i hope something works for you.. the kids more important than the computer...jmo slim

Savage .250 · « **Reply #10 on:** July 15, 2009, 01:48:55 AM »

Isn`t being a parent ....wonderful? Your only salvation is someday he "may" move
out.

SHOOTALL · « **Reply #11 on:** July 15, 2009, 02:58:19 AM »

Do nothing while mad !
You can't control him if you aren't under control .
Its fine to be pizzed just get over it before doling out punishment .
And punishment is called for along with paying back damages .
All need to learn there is no free ride you pay for "mistakes" .
Make both enough he will think before he goes off next time . And as said before don't give in or you will loose all respect !

You can't be a parent and best friend at the same time .

blind ear · « **Reply #12 on:** July 15, 2009, 03:51:35 AM »

Have him tested for Attention Deficit and Dislexia learning disabilities. He can have an IQ of 140 or160 and still have these problems. No amount of beating will discipline him enough to be effective if he needs medication. If needed, medication will help even an adult. It helps prevent outbursts/reactions/strikeing out. The person might think something but they won't necessarily say it or do it by reflex. It also keeps the person from becomeing overwhelmed and having brain lock up or information overload when confronted with a whole lot of new information or tasks at once. Discipline can't fix it if medication is needed. I have been there on both sides.
Good luck,
eddiegjr

GRIMJIM · « **Reply #13 on:** July 15, 2009, 04:00:05 AM »

The funny thing is, this is one of the fond memories you will have when you are older.

Questor · « **Reply #14 on:** July 15, 2009, 04:06:29 AM »

GrimJim:

I tend to forget my kids' foibles. But I don't think he'll forget how much this cost him. There are bigger problems than I can handle, and he's going to have to pay a hefty shop fee to get it fixed.

GRIMJIM · « **Reply #15 on:** July 15, 2009, 04:27:02 AM »

A lot of the foibles my kids did when they were little are some very fond memories for me now. Your son must be a little older.

magooch · « **Reply #16 on:** July 15, 2009, 04:36:45 AM »

Rule #1. Kids shall not be allowed to make your life harder.

When they caused a problem, their life got real hard, real fast. At times I had to be an ogre when our kids were growing up, but that's just the way it is. Kids have got to respect their parents. That respect can be through love, or fear if necessary, but it has to obtain. However, there are no guarantees; some will grow up fine and others won't.

Questor · « **Reply #17 on:** July 15, 2009, 04:42:20 AM »

We've been in violation of rule 1 since before they were born. It was a major trade-off in life to have kids.

Scibaer · « **Reply #18 on:** July 15, 2009, 04:51:52 AM »

my 16 year old step son, has a real bad attitude. under the advisement of the psychologist we sent him to military school for 2 semesters. long story short it made him worse and give him some tools to act worse when he decides to take out his anger on others.
last week, he was calling his mother ( my wife ) names, Bit@h, and the F-you's. after about an hour of this, i got tired and warned him 1 time to " stop calling my wife names and yelling at her", "that stops now".
he decided to Mother F me, and ask me if i want to fight, and what was i going to do about it ?
i walked over to him, looking him right in the eye and knocked his butt to the ground, then picked him up and did it again. this time he layed on the floor crying. no real or perminant damage. but he got the point. then i handed him the house fone, and said " i'm the big dog around here, call the cops if you see fit, or be a man" ...
he has been much more repectfull of myself and his mom all week..
he didnt call the cops.. he appologized a few days later ..

magooch · « **Reply #19 on:** July 15, 2009, 05:09:26 AM »

You waited an hour to knock the kid on his butt? You are a man of great patience. In my house, that kid would have been dead about 4 seconds after that crap came out of his mouth.

Sourdough · « **Reply #20 on:** July 15, 2009, 05:46:19 AM »

My oldest son being raised by his mothers family till he was 16 caused me a lot of grief. At the age of 18 I put him on the street. Could not take his actions any more.

My second son has been close to perfect. He has never been any trouble, and very little problems. At the age of 6 he got his last spanking with the paddle. He and I sat and talked about it before hand so he understood his actions had caused the problem he was having with his mother and I. He had done something wrong and was going to be punished, he decided he deserved the punishment but he did not like it and modified his behavior from that point on. Since the age of 8 he has came to me with all his problems and we talked it over like two adults. I most times did not tell him what to do, I encouraged him to think about his actions and to decide on what he thought would be the best action.

Knowing tools could be a problem, I am real picky about my tools, and keep my box locked, mainly to keep the wife out of it . I got him his own tool box when he was 10 and started working on his racing BMX bikes. Once his mother found out he was not locking his tool box she would go to it and take whatever she needed, she left his tools out where ever she used it last, he got picky too about his tool box.

The only thing now is that when i buy myself a car (Mitsubishi Eclipse GT), Sky ends up with it. I bought myself a mountain bike this spring. I rode it twice, have only seen it a few times since hanging on the back of the Mitsubishi.

Now I understand why the males of some species kill and eat their young.

jimster · « **Reply #21 on:** July 15, 2009, 06:03:49 AM »

Some kids can be a handful for sure. I let my boys know what the deal was about the time they could walk...had to swat them some to let them know that NO...was NO way back then. I think that helped a lot and only had to remind them a couple times after that. Ya gotta swat them when they are young...like when they crawl over to the tv set and reach up to turn a knob...and look back at you just before they turn it to see what your gonna do about it....might as well swat them then cause they are asking for it before they can even walk. Never hurt them or anything like that, but I'm sure it's all illegal somehow. Never had to scream or yell at them when they got older, but the wife...she yelled a lot...but they didn't care about that. She used to get mad because they would not listen to her when she yelled, and I would just calmly tell them to do something and they would scatter like flies. She asked me why that was...I told her same reason the dogs don't listen to you...your all talk and no action.

I would suppose if they were acting real bad and cussing at their mom at 16 I'd have to hurt them some, too late for a swat at that point.

Now my wife and I live alone they are all gone...it's quiet and money just appears in my pockets somehow.
Sometimes they come over for a beer now. I'm watching them try to reason with their grandson now instead of swating him because my daughter in law does not believe in that....boy, are they in for a surprise.

Dixie Dude · « **Reply #22 on:** July 15, 2009, 06:13:28 AM »

How old is he? If he is old enough to get a job, make him get a job and work to pay back the damages. Make him work to save for his first car, don't buy him one. Once they have to work for stuff, they learn to take care of it more.

rex6666 · « **Reply #23 on:** July 15, 2009, 07:12:27 AM »

Quote from: bubba on July 15, 2009, 12:26:55 AM

how about a little parental intervention and sit there while he is on the puter to see what he is doing and offer some guidance as to what he should ad should not do while he is on the puter. If you have went 30 years with no problems pass on the vast knowledge you obviously have rather than gripe he isnt doing it right when he hasnt been taught. And when that doesnt work password the puter so he is only on when you say. In other words take csome control of the situation.

I have not heard how old this darling is but sounds like lack of supervison of
a very young child.
Why is he allowed access to things he may disstroy. Sounds like taking
control would be a good start.

Questor · « **Reply #24 on:** July 15, 2009, 07:36:48 AM »

Dixie Dude:

You are so right. He has earned the money to fix it, but he intended to use that money for other things. Too bad!

As for the car, I absolutely agree. We will not be buying him or his sister a car. That's their job. The big lesson is that cars and their upkeep are expensive.

He's 17.

SHOOTALL · « **Reply #25 on:** July 15, 2009, 08:01:30 AM »

Man has only had pills (medicine ) to control kids for a few years . Why do people throw that out so fast ? Spare the rod and spoil the child has worked for centuries .

Scibaer · « **Reply #26 on:** July 15, 2009, 08:31:47 AM »

well yes, i did wait for over an hour actually. i had to decide, if it was ok to put my hands on him, if it was ok, possibly taking a hit legally for his mouth, and how much hurt i was going to put on him. his eye is still blood shot, bruised face and swollen nose ( not broken ). he did take it like the man he was trying to be, didnt call the cops and now knows one of my limits.
prior to this, he figured he could call the shots with his mom. now he knows ( at risk to me going to jail ) that i'm not going to take his verbal abuse, but i'm not proud of what i done, or bragging about it. it wasnt patients that made me wait, it was ... ethics ? or maybe trying to figure out if my physical actions were justified by his verbal assult.. he still is a child.

Dixie Dude · « **Reply #27 on:** July 15, 2009, 10:17:18 AM »

My youngest is 17, and he has broken things, mostly unintentional, just dumb teenage stuff. But, I take it out of his savings so he can see how hard it is to earn money. He has saved over $5,000 towards a car or truck, but he could have had $6,000 or more if he hadn't blown speakers or broken things.

Oldshooter · « **Reply #28 on:** July 15, 2009, 12:13:54 PM »

Everyone reacts differently to different things, some kids will bow up at an ass whipping and you have more problems.(mine all knew if their behavior warranted it it was coming) But by and large you have to make sure that they take responsibility for their actions. My boysnad girls used to think I was the meanest man in the world, but they knew also that I was fair. They're grown now and show me regularly that they learned and appreciated being held to account for their actions. Being a Parent aint for liberals and sissies!

blind ear · « **Reply #29 on:** July 15, 2009, 12:32:04 PM »

Pills: as stated, IF TESTED, if needed.