Hey guys! Sorry to be away for so long. I'm a full-time "college kid" now, but I've been trying to drop by as often as I can, to see what's going on. But most recently, I've been in the hospital, and I'm Glad to get to sleep in my own bed again!
It seems I have been dealt the card to have kidney trouble, in the form of multiple stones that absolutely will not release from the kidney. The first time was about 6 years ago. I had to have them surgically removed, which ain't fun at all!
Now, if you're squeemish, stop reading right here! 'Cause it gits rough from here on out. It's OK to laugh. I've been laughing since I got home yesterday... (I had to laugh to keep from crying.)
You see, modern medicine being what it is and all, they done figgered out how to git a instermint inside you without makin' no new holes! It would behoove you to remember that part. Any way, you can just guess how they get to your kidneys, without makin' no new holes!
You guessed it, they use one you already got!! And it's one you ain't EVER thought of something goin' INTO. I ain't kiddin'! I told 'em to make Dang Shore I was ALL the way OUT before they even started to think about doin' THAT!! I didn't want no details, I just wanted to git rid of the pain, and I didn't care HOW they did it! But after bein' "gone into" like that, I think I DO care how they do it. I think I'd just about rather they come close to guttin' me like you do a fish to git at my kidney from now on. I don't know which one hurt the worst! The stones, or the part where they didn't make no new hole! I just KNEW I was gonna wake up and feel like a brand new man, but Noooooo! They had to go and Not Make No New Hole, with a instermint that was too Big fer the one hole they was wantin' to go into! And I tell you, that just happens to be one part you don't never want to be stretched by no over-sized instermint! Instead of waking up pain free, I woke up screaming at the top of my lungs! I hollered like a little girl, and I didn't care who heard me, neither! I thought somebody done hauled off and poured gas on me and set it
A FIRE! You can't even talk about embarrassment when you let 'em haul off and go up in you without makin' no new hole! I have absolute respect for a woman in childbirth, I tell you! If you want to see a Grown man cry like a little girl, you let him have a mess of kidney stones that can't pass, and then let a doctor go after 'em without makin' no new hole! You can't be still to save your life! But the more you move, the more it hurts. The more it hurts, the more you move. I flounced around so bad, I had to look like a fish out of water! After they gave me what seemed like about 2 jars of morphine and a pint and a half of demerol, it started easin' off a little. They asked me what it would take to shut me up. I told 'em to take it all back, and make me a New Hole! LOL I can laugh about it now, but it was pure torture while I was goin' through it!... I don't think I would wish that kind of pain on my worst enemy. Not that I have any...
but you know what I mean.
The moral of this story is this; If you ever have kidney stones that need operatin' on, or you need surgery of Any Kind, tell 'em you'd like it just fine if they WOULD make a new hole! It won't hurt near as bad...
Like I said, It's good to be back!
SouthernBygrace
