Author Topic: Goodbye to my beloved wife (Read 1432 times)

Steelbanger · « **on:** December 26, 2009, 08:20:23 AM »

I haven't posted much anywhere in a very long time due to being a caregiver to my wife, Carol. She was valiantly fighting metastatic melanoma for 2 1/2 years, enduring surgery, chemotherapy, radiation and countless scans, tests, drugs and treatments, losing her battle on November 17th. This Christmas was the most depressing, sad occasion that a person could endure. I long to hold her again, feel her gentle touch, but it's not to be. We had been married just a few months shy of 50 years and she was my life, the type of woman that you're proud and happy to be with. High school sweethearts into our golden years. I have family nearby so it's not that I'm alone, still there is a most significant part of my life gone. She was my travel partner, sometimes shooting partner, spotter, cheerleader, wife, lover, best friend. She was quite a shooter too, one time she ran 15 pigs in a row with her Contender! Man, was that a happy day for us!

Last Christmas, out of the blue, she surprised me with a rifle, one that I casually mentioned a month or so earlier. Deep down I realize she knew that would probably be her last Christmas and made it memorable for me. Over the years she often managed to surprise me at Christmastime with gifts like a PACT chronograph, digital camera, and many hobby related items.

Attached is a picture of Carol from April of 09. Her hair had just come back after chemo and was only about 1/2" long. In the early fall she lost all that hair again after having whole brain radiation. No person should have to endure all that she went through. I'm sure there's a special spot for her in heaven and no one deserves it more than she. Carol was 67 years old.

I really lost interest in hunting and shooting during her illness and will now try to rekindle that fire from the remaining tiny ember still glowing.

I hope your Christmas was merry and have a happy new year. And give your wife a loving hug too. It'll make you both feel good.

Frank

mechanic · « **Reply #1 on:** December 26, 2009, 08:24:55 AM »

Frank,

I wish I had the words. Suffice it to say that there is One greater than us all who is concerned about you, understands your grief, and who will give you strength. I will keep you in my prayers that He will help you through this. I believe that such a good wife and friend would want you to be happy, and even though that's hard to achieve, it should be your goal. Say thanks tonight for the time you had, and use the time you have left to honor her.

Ben

Lee Robinson · « **Reply #2 on:** December 26, 2009, 08:31:08 AM »

God bless.

kynardsj · « **Reply #3 on:** December 26, 2009, 08:31:49 AM »

So sorry for your loss. I feel your pain but in another way. I lost my mother very unexpectedly on December 7th. She was going to spend Christmas this year with us. Your wife, like my mother got to spend Christmas with Jesus this year and tell him Happy Birthday face to face. Stay strong brother and may God bless.

Dee · « **Reply #4 on:** December 26, 2009, 09:06:23 AM »

My condolences sir.

Slowhanddd · « **Reply #5 on:** December 26, 2009, 09:21:23 AM »

Words cannot be said to make you feel better.Sir i wont even try.Just know that she wont be enduring any more pain and that the Lord will help you through this.Just ask Him.Slow

Skunk · « **Reply #6 on:** December 26, 2009, 09:24:47 AM »

Condolences Steelbanger.

GRIMJIM · « **Reply #7 on:** December 26, 2009, 09:32:06 AM »

Very sorry for your loss.

nomosendero · « **Reply #8 on:** December 26, 2009, 09:33:26 AM »

Sir I am sorry for your loss.

Duckhunter250 · « **Reply #9 on:** December 26, 2009, 10:28:29 AM »

Truly sorry for your great loss.

ironglow · « **Reply #10 on:** December 26, 2009, 10:33:42 AM »

You have my condolences, sir ! God Bless..

gypsyman · « **Reply #11 on:** December 26, 2009, 10:47:37 AM »

Very hard to express the sympathy that we feel. 50 years of companionship and love. May God bless you sir, and give you strenght to carry on. You 2 will be together again someday. gypsyman

bearmgc · « **Reply #12 on:** December 26, 2009, 11:03:56 AM »

You are in my prayers. Your 50 years of love and soulfull companionship is surely a blessing you can cherish even now. It is something many can only dream of and hope for. I cannot begin to imagine your loss. But God is always there for you.

DalesCarpentry · « **Reply #13 on:** December 26, 2009, 11:28:02 AM »

I feel very sorry for your loss. May God bless you. Dale

Black Eagle · « **Reply #14 on:** December 26, 2009, 11:41:34 AM »

Words cannot possibly express how deeply I feel for you. Love that lasts that long, lasts forever. My wish for you is that you can still enjoy that part of it even through the loss.

45454 · « **Reply #15 on:** December 26, 2009, 11:43:42 AM »

I am so sorry.
Should you need anything,just ask.
We're here for you.

m-g Willy · « **Reply #16 on:** December 26, 2009, 11:49:32 AM »

Deepest smpathy.
You had each other for more than 50 years.
You must have shared alot of laughter and a few tears.
GOD sent you an angel.
But she wasn't a gift,
She was just a loan.
Heaven must have missed her,
So GOD decided to take her home.
So don't you worry,
And don't you fear.
Because in your heart you know
She will always be near.
There is nothing we can do or say,
To take your sorrow and pain away.
But in your sorrow and pain we all will share.
And hope you know how much we care.

May GOD comfort you and your family.

Willy

rockbilly · « **Reply #17 on:** December 26, 2009, 11:55:50 AM »

Steelbanger. I am not walking in your shoes, but not far from it. We have been married for 51 years and at this point just take it a day at a time.

My thoughts and prayers go out to you my friend, May God let the sun shine on you, you deserve it.

MSP Ret · « **Reply #18 on:** December 26, 2009, 12:09:17 PM »

Steelbanger, my thoughts and prayers are with you, along with all other members here who have lost, and will lose, loved ones. Your words touched me buddy, and I am sure your beloved Carol knows of your love and devotion as well. Have faith buddy, we will someday all be reunited with our loved ones, and they with us....<><....

LONGTOM · « **Reply #19 on:** December 26, 2009, 12:33:22 PM »

Respect to you and for your wife.
Just know that you will be together again in a better place one day and all will be as before!
Prayers to you, SIR!

LONGTOM

Oldshooter · « **Reply #20 on:** December 26, 2009, 12:44:25 PM »

My sincere heart felt condolences Pardner, As one who has recently lost my last living parent. I have a sense of what you are going through. The holidays are hard when you already feel melancholy and loss.

Sweetwater, gave me a thought the other day about just remembering, and telling the stories and keeping loved ones close my telling the stories, and it will help you go through the healing process. God bless you and wish you happiness in spite of your loss.

Thanks for the post. We all have and/or will loose the ones we love. We must remember them fondly and often. Look forward to the reunion as well.

Wyo. Coyote Hunter · « **Reply #21 on:** December 26, 2009, 01:57:48 PM »

Steel, you have my sympath and best wishes... This is a most diffcult time to deal with the loss of a loved one. Again my very best wishes for you...

Swampman · « **Reply #22 on:** December 26, 2009, 02:11:14 PM »

Sorry for your loss, prayers sent.

The Swampman

jim36 · « **Reply #23 on:** December 26, 2009, 02:17:24 PM »

Steelbamger
   As I read your post, my eyes started to tear up. It would be hard for me to experience the pain that you are going thru. My heart grieves for you and especially at a supposed to be cheerful time of year.
   One day, Gods will, you will be able to join her once again. We have been promised this in the scriptures.
   I will lift you and your family up in prayer tonight, hopeing that some peace will comfort you.
   May God bless you.

   Jim <>< <>< <><

hunt-m-up · « **Reply #24 on:** December 26, 2009, 02:19:04 PM »

My sympathies and God bless you during this difficult time.

spruce · « **Reply #25 on:** December 26, 2009, 02:24:05 PM »

God Bless you. You're in our thoughts and prayers.

DEACONLLB · « **Reply #26 on:** December 26, 2009, 02:34:52 PM »

Having my own wife for 54 years, we promised each other that we would grow old togeather and so far we have. dont wont to think about how it would be without her. Prayers are with you in your time of loss. May god give you comfort as you go through this trying time of your life.

Deaconllb

AtlLaw · « **Reply #27 on:** December 26, 2009, 02:42:38 PM »

Kathie an I have been thinking of you and Carol and praying for you both since I got your email Frank. She is at rest with the Lord now, and we pray He will ease your suffering.

slim rem 7 · « **Reply #28 on:** December 26, 2009, 03:12:51 PM »

may god be with you sir.. she will always live in your memory ..you have my total sympathy ,,for what you are going through now.. i can only imagine the hardness of each day for you ..but i personally believe
you can be with her again ..somehow,, in gods wisdom..it strains reason,, for me not to believe that..
true love between a man an woman,, is i believe something that transends, this life..what a beautiful wife you are blessed with..slim

williamlayton · « **Reply #29 on:** December 26, 2009, 10:50:25 PM »

I have been trying to think of the words. I don't have any that will express the sorrow I feel.
My prayers for you seem so useless but the one who they go too is so powerfull.
Blessings