Hey guys, let me take a crack at this.
You are correct about being load sensitive. EVERY gun is load sensitive to a degree. How much that bothers is pretty much determined by the requirements of the shooter. Some guns are super sensitive to some shooters, and completely unsensitive to others. Are we shooting elk at 50 feet or aspirin tablets at 100 yards. The requirements make the difference.
MY experience with rifle/revolver combos is specifically that the heaviest loads my Ruger Blackhawk 41mag would digest, and stay within the limits of the manual, would cause head seperations in my Marlin 1894 41mag rifle. The revolver has a cylinder gap, which acts as an escape valve. The rifle does not and will develop higher pressure with the same powder charge. The longer barrel also attributes to the higher pressures being developed. If you look at the 44mag data for revolver and compare to rifle, you will find the rifle data is either equal or lower max charges than the revolver data.
Each gun is unique, to a degree. When I get the 45 Colt rifle to go with my Ruger Bisley Blackhawk 45 Colt, I know my revolver loads will be ok for pressure as I'm still in the "normal" 45 colt data range. I'll taylor the load for accuracy in the rifle, and the revolver will still be accurate within my capabilities with it.
Your capabilities and/or requirements may be totally different than mine, and very likely are, but I think you are making this more difficult than it really is. CW gave you some great info and advise. Up to you to make it happen. Happy New Year!
Regards,
Sweetwater