Author Topic: Another friend gone. How do you tell the ones left you appreciate them?  (Read 465 times)

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Offline Questor

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Another friend is gone. May he rest in peace. As more of these things happen I become more considerate and generally less abrasive, and certainly more caring and respectful of others. Sometimes I don't show it enough, though, and it leaves me with regrets.

Have you changed over the years to be more considerate as you've learned more about our mortality?
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Offline powderman

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Re: Another friend gone. How do you tell the ones left you appreciate them?
« Reply #1 on: January 03, 2010, 05:50:17 AM »
Every day I'm reminded of my own mortality. I'm tired of watching loved ones die and attending funerals. If you love somebody, tell them now, today, there may not be a tomorrow. I feel sorry for folks without God in their lives. The last funeral I went to was our retired pastor. A mixed blessing there, I miss him, but am glad his suffering is over for good.
In answer to your question, yes. POWDERMAN.  :( :(
Mr. Charles Glenn “Charlie” Nelson, age 73, of Payneville, KY passed away Thursday, October 14, 2021 at his residence. RIP Charlie, we'll will all miss you. GB

Only half the people leave an abortion clinic alive.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAiOEV0v2RM
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Offline Sourdough

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Re: Another friend gone. How do you tell the ones left you appreciate them?
« Reply #2 on: January 03, 2010, 06:59:01 AM »
As far as appreciating them, it seems the older we get the farther apart we get.  They don't get out as much, and we don't get out as much.  And in some cases when you do see them, they don't know who you are. 

When I first came to Alaska I got involved with an old family (First Wife) that had been here for years.  Through them I met many of the old families in the area.  After our divorce I did not see many of those people that much.  Now I have noticed I am seeing their names in the Obituary every month or so.  But one of the things that hits hardest is that over half of the people mentioned in the obits are younger than I am.

Was talking to my Mom yesterday.  One of my Dad's cousins died last week.  At the funeral people would came up and talk to Dad and he did not have a clue who they were.  My brother Rob (Lionhunter) and I had talked about it a few years ago.  Rob said one of the reasons our Dad was depressed was that all his friends and relatives are all dieing.  After each funeral he would sit and think about it for days.  He felt like he was soon to be the only one left.  When his cousin Harold died last week, that was the last one of Dad's generation that I can think of.  Dad is the last one of all the cousins of his generation, and Dad was far from being the youngest.  Maybe it's a good thing he can no longer remember.  He no longer sits and dwells on his mortality, he just sits there and sleeps.

There is an old lady here in Fairbanks, named Nancy.  She really is not all that old, she is my age, she just looks it.  Ouch, guess I'm old too.  Any way her name is Nancy and she is now confined to a wheel chair.  When we meet Nancy always wants a hug.  Nancy lives in an assisted living facility, and her friends are always taking her out of the building shopping or to just get her out of the building.  These people can not understand why Nancy wants a hug from me, she does not want anyone else to touch her.  And Nancy can not tell them who I am, she does not remember my name, but she wants a hug, she knows there is something in our past.  Nancy and I were a pretty hot couple back in the early 70s, we almost got married.  But things just did not work out.  I hug her, give her a kiss on the forehead, and squeeze her hand.  Then she starts to cry, but she does not remember my name.    It hurts to see Nancy that way, and I usually end up misty eyed as I walk away.  But I cannot and will not avoid her.

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Offline powderman

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Re: Another friend gone. How do you tell the ones left you appreciate them?
« Reply #3 on: January 03, 2010, 10:33:34 AM »
My Mom has cancer and is the last of her generation on both sides of my family. It really doesn't seem to bother her. I believe that when you have God in your life and know where you are going it makes a huge differrence on your outlook of death. POWDERMAN.  ;D ;D
Mr. Charles Glenn “Charlie” Nelson, age 73, of Payneville, KY passed away Thursday, October 14, 2021 at his residence. RIP Charlie, we'll will all miss you. GB

Only half the people leave an abortion clinic alive.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAiOEV0v2RM
What part of ILLEGAL is so hard to understand???
I learned everything about islam I need to know on 9-11-01.
http://www.thereligionofpeace.com/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDqmy1cSqgo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_u9kieqGppE&feature=related
http://www.illinois.gov/gov/contactthegovernor.cfm

Offline Old Fart

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Re: Another friend gone. How do you tell the ones left you appreciate them?
« Reply #4 on: January 04, 2010, 06:15:45 AM »
I don't think I've became any more considerate, as I've always just kept my mouth shut up until it really needed to be opened.
I have become more tolerant. Some things that used to really bother me don't as much anymore. I still speak my piece, jusy not as abrasive.
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Offline yellowtail3

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Re: Another friend gone. How do you tell the ones left you appreciate them?
« Reply #5 on: January 04, 2010, 11:03:32 AM »
As the years roll on, I have come to the realization that I am nowhere near as smart as I used to think I was. This has led me to be far, far less dogmatic on some matters, than I was in the past.

We're all here temporarily, and we have more in common than difference. Love folks while you can, forgive while you can, look for common ground while you can.

Because you don't know how much time you have left, just that it WILL END.

My $.02
Jesus said we should treat other as we'd want to be treated... and he didn't qualify that by their party affiliation, race, or even if they're of diff religion.

Offline bearmgc

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Re: Another friend gone. How do you tell the ones left you appreciate them?
« Reply #6 on: January 04, 2010, 12:46:43 PM »
Live each day to the fullest. Never let the sun go down on your anger. Forgive, and let it go. Readily apologize when wrong, and make amends. The majority of what people do these days is ego-based. Cut out the ego chest thumping stuff, and there's a whole lotta day left for you and those you love. I'm just learning this.

Offline LONGTOM

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Re: Another friend gone. How do you tell the ones left you appreciate them?
« Reply #7 on: January 04, 2010, 06:02:57 PM »
How do you tell the ones left you appreciate them?


Just by being there if & when they need you!


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Offline Echo4Lima

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Re: Another friend gone. How do you tell the ones left you appreciate them?
« Reply #8 on: January 05, 2010, 12:03:47 PM »
Even when they dont need you!  Just stay in touch however that my be.

Just lost an uncle that I pretty much grew up in his home. I came back from overseas after 7 years n spent a lot of time there again for awhile.  After time I saw them less n less. Got to be only get togethers of some sort where I would see him.  After he passed (just before Christmas) my aunt told me how happy he was I had gone by the hospital to see him.  She says he told her I was basically his "first son". My being older than his 3 kids and his only son the last of the three. WOW!! Thats a hell of a statement to say about somebody! I'm still racked by it...

My parents have been gone awhile. There are now only 3 of that generation left. The youngest is 67. I have made it a point now, after, to pick up the phone, stop by, just stay in touch.  I think they will feel good and I will too.

Offline ironglow

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Re: Another friend gone. How do you tell the ones left you appreciate them?
« Reply #9 on: January 05, 2010, 12:27:28 PM »
  I have definitely "mellowed" in the last few years. Partly I believe, due to age and experience and partly due to the fact that the last half of my life..I have turned my life and my problems over to the Lord.
  There was a time when I was extremely apprehensive when I contemplated my own demise, but now, knowing my destination I have few concerns that way.
  The deaths which trouble me the most are those which come "out of time"..when a young person's life suddenly ends. This was brought home by my own son's early death and I have great empathy for those who lose a loved one in the war. Yet; it is His will, not ours..which must be done. God does not make mistakes..we in our human limitations, just don't understand his plan, but someday; we will.
   For today, never neglect to let those near and dear know you love them. Seek the Lord...and when you find Him and His will for your life, perhaps you too can have the "peace which passeth all understanding".
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