A friends brother killed him self.

[DalesCarpentry]

Here is the obit. Dale
You guys happy now? I deleted it. By the way it was already on the internet. That is how I got the link.

[Redtail1949]

i have been tempted and have indeed called those that have done that cowards. it was mostly anger and frustration on my part when i came face to face with the devestation left behind. the daughter who was pregnant that carried a burden of guilt undeserved that has shaken her and affected her relationship with the child. the son who worshiped his father who is broken in spirit that loves but hates his sister and her child.

i like all others scream out "WHY? WHY? WHY did you do this? there are no answers to sooth the hearts of those that loved them. when nothing can be said to justify their actions.

i can and will accept a person taking their own life when in pain or terminaly ill situations. for reasons of a daughters pregnacy i simply can not. in my mind he was a coward plain and simple.

that does not apply in all situations that is for sure. i knew two teenagers when i was their age a boy and a girl that took their lives with a hose stuck into their car window parked and running in the garage of the girls home. they left a note that the parents did not approve of them seeing each other so they would kill themselves to be together for ever. what about that one? not cowards but immature fools. the pain to the parents i believe was one of the  reasons they did it. to punish them in their immature way.


so much for trying to understand i guess like might grandma used to say do not try to judge a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes.

[slim rem 7]

i looked at the black water one time my self ..another fella shot me out the saddle with a girl i loved
more i thought than life..thought about it all day an just decided to never go out that way..
 but i never say always or never as what humans will do..
 sad part ..the guy that won her from me.. hung his self when she dumped him..truely sad..
 the girl.. just a young girl that needed new love all the time.. i know personnally she matured past these things.. became a fine woman.. slim

[bubba]

the young man killed himself because he lost his job for smoking some weed?   Yes I agree then we shoudl honor him. Maybe build a statue in the town square.  The only person hurt by suicide is the people left behind to clean up the mess left behind by the yes I will say it again the coward who could not face his problems.  

Suicide is simply this the ultimate escape mechanism.  To escape somethung viewed as catastrophic by the perpretator.  To escape means to run away. Well who runs away?  a brave person umm I dont think so.  And I will not keep my mouth shut just because I don't agree with what is said. If I met this young mans family, there would be no one there with more compassion. I ride with the PGR and attend many funerals of fallen heroes and always have atear in my eye.  But again this was brought up  on a public internet forum. If it were my friend, I dont think I would be talking about it on here, much less posting the guys obit for the world to see.  I would prefer such matters be kept private. Once again a 2 page reply to a crisis.  Oh well

[jimster]

Yep Bubba, kind of why I posted what I did and mentioned that each case and how people feel are going to be different. For my friend that took his own life years ago, I never did feel sorry for him, just some anger at him for messsing up the people who loved him and the mess we had to clean up.

I can't coddle every person who takes their own life, they have little regard for the mess they leave behind or who has to clean it all up.

I will admit not every case is the same or the reasons to kill ones self, but I can't jump on board the mushy feeling wagon for all of them, some of them don't deserve it.  I won't judge anyone I don't know, but I think I can certainly judge a person I grew up with since childhood, and had to carry his casket. My friend took a cowards way out...and left a mess to clean up, and had wonderful young kids he hurt with this selfishness.  My opinion...on just one man I knew very well. 
 

 

[bubba]

I have compassion for the survivors, but none fo rthe person who created his own situation. They made a choice they do not have to live with, everyone else does.

[Spanky]

The only COWARDS I see here are the ones doing the name calling. Only a COWARD would trash talk someone after they are dead and gone.
As far as a person creating his own situation... that ain't always the case.



Spanky

[Dee]

In my law enforcement career, I honestly can't remember the number of suicides I work the scene on. I watched it absolutely tear the families apart especially the kids. For an adult that is not already dying from some form of terminal illness to do this to his family and friends will no doubt be dealt with on Judgment Day. It is most certainly a selfish thing to do to your family. As low as I have been at times in my life, I have thought instead about my family, and the gift that God gave me called LIFE.
What possible good could come from posting an obituary on an internationally read forum, basically saying here's my friend. He killed himself? Just more drama taken to the next level. As someone already said. This should have been kept private within the family instead of broadcast world wide.

[LONGTOM]

There are a lot of things in life beyond our control that may have been thrust upon us but that doesn't stop us from finding a way to work through it.
I may have missed it in one of the replies but I don't recall where anyone said that any of them were cowards in life, only in the way they chose to deal with their problems.
As far as PTSD, yes, a lot of them come back with it but don't take their life over it.
They find a way to deal with it, or live with it.
To me it takes a lot more courage to face ones problems and work through them.
Those that chose to end it all will never know what may have been.
Like others have said, it is the family and loved ones that have to deal with it after they are gone.
I feel compassion for their problems and the fight they must endure to cope with them.
I myself have never had to face a hardship that sever in life yet, and pray I never will, but I am sure that I have enough faith in our GOD to pull me through any problem I may face.
I am sorry but to me, taking ones own life is not the way out, unless as stated before you are either terminally ill or it would be a financial disaster on the family.



LONGTOM

[Redtail1949]

i was taught not to kick a man while he was down. i also was taught not to talk about the dead...they have paid their toll in this life and await their final judgement by a highest judge.

[bubba]

Spanky I appreciate you calling me a COWARD. I am just curioius as to whom decides for someone to kill themselves if not themself?  Regardless of the situation they chose a way to run from it.  Then it makes it their decision to end a situation no one elses. I said nothing about this guy personally I said in general.  In fact I did not even read the obit as I feel it is not any of my business.  Did anyone make him smoke weed when he knew it would put his job in jeopardy? I seriously doubt it.  Life is about choices good and bad. He made bad decisions got caught then made the ultimate bad decision. 

[MGMorden]

Spanky I appreciate you calling me a COWARD.

It's an offense to be sure, but he leveled that offense against someone who can respond back to defend themselves.  Everyone here can't make that claim.

Regardless of how the left the world, it's just rude to insult the dead.  There will always be a few "internet tough guys" around trying to use shock value to try and further convince everyone of just how hardcore they are though.  Straight thinking people generally aren't impressed.

PS I said nothing about you specifically in my comments - I was speaking in general.  That makes it all fine and dandy right?

[rex6666]

The only COWARDS I see here are the ones doing the name calling. Only a COWARD would trash talk someone after they are dead and gone.
As far as a person creating his own situation... that ain't always the case.



Spanky

Their is NO situation that is so bad that a person has to kill himself.
Don't see any name calling, just stating facts, person was not brave enough to
face up, might have fought a lion, but could not face life.
Killing ones self does no one any favors but self.

[MGMorden]

Their is NO situation that is so bad that a person has to kill himself.
Don't see any name calling, just stating facts, person was not brave enough to
face up, might have fought a lion, but could not face life.
Killing ones self does no one any favors but self.

That I don't disagree with.  It's a subject that must be approached with tact though.  Naturally any advice you give on the subject at this point doesn't apply to those who have already committed that act, but rather to others thinking about it, but advice MUST constructive to be effective.

The first and last lines of your post above are true and I'd say constructive advice.  Calling the dead cowards is not.

[jimster]

I don't think any of this has to escalate to the point of anyone being tough guys or not, or turn into how much compassion we have or don't have.  I had no problem in my post saying I had no right to look anyone else that killed themselves, I think I also said there are many reasons people take their own lives.  I pointed out how I felt about my personal experience,  if that makes me some kind of "internet tough guy" in someone's eyes, not much I can do about that.  I didn't bring it up, probably should not have told Hairtrigger how I felt about my experience...OK...my mistake, I was thinking more about Hairtrigger than I wan anyone else on here because he is going through what I did...I think.  

I never learn to keep my mouth shut...even after all these years.  When will I learn?

 

[Dee]

I SUPPOSE IT IS RESPECTFUL TO PUBLISH ON THE INTERNET THE METHOD OF DEMISE, AND THEN POST THE DECEDENTS NAME, AND HIS FAMILIES NAME "WORLD WIDE", AND THEN OPEN IT UP FOR DISCUSSION. DO YOU CALL THAT CONSTRUCTIVE, AND RESPECTFUL? I FIND IT  DISGUSTINGLY TASTELESS, AND DISRESPECTFUL TO THE FAMILY. THE DECEASED ON THE OTHER HAND, DOES NOT CARE. HE IS DECEASED.
IT IS THE FAMILY THAT SUFFERS, AND NOW HAS BEEN MADE VULNERABLE, TO  EVERY KOOK FROM EVERY CORNER OF THE WORLD TO WRITE OR CALL IN COMMENTS "DIRECTLY TO THE FAMILY" THANKS TO "DRAMA DALE".
IT SHOULD BE OBVIOUS TO ALL, THAT THE FAMILY DID NOT CARE TO PUBLISH THE METHOD OF DEATH, OR ELSE THEY WOULD HAVE PUT THAT ALSO IN THE OBITUARAY. NO PROBLEM! DALE DID IT FOR THEM. NOW THE WORLD KNOWS.
IT SEEMS TO ME THE FINGERS OF ANGER HERE, ARE POINTED IN THE WRONG DIRECTION, AND TAKE NOTE THAT YOU FINGER POINTERS HAVE ONE FINGER POINTED AT SOMEONE ELSE AND THREE FINGERS BACK AT YOURSELF.

[rex6666]

Their is NO situation that is so bad that a person has to kill himself.
Don't see any name calling, just stating facts, person was not brave enough to
face up, might have fought a lion, but could not face life.
Killing ones self does no one any favors but self.

That I don't disagree with.  It's a subject that must be approached with tact though.  Naturally any advice you give on the subject at this point doesn't apply to those who have already committed that act, but rather to others thinking about it, but advice MUST constructive to be effective.

The first and last lines of your post above are true and I'd say constructive advice.  Calling the dead cowards is not.

I am not calling THE DEAD cowards, just people that commit suicide.
i have had two people in my family do so, they were good people that
decided they could not handle life any longer, so they took the easy way out
and left the bad for everyone else to clean up cause it was still there(they
didn't take it with them) I am not trying to advise anyone. I can not keep
anyone from commiting suicide, they have to face up themselves.

[bubba]

But it is Dale. He is just a guy down on his luck, needs a helping hand and some understanding. Dale gets a pass with his foolishness such as this whole thread.  Last week it was I am not going to talk about my personal life anymore. That lasted about 5 days.  He loves to post this crap and then sit back and watch the fun. He never comes back to defend his actions, he lets everyone else do it for him.  He is already plotting his next post to keep crap going. Oh well I planned to stay out of this one, because I knew I would be the bad guy before it was done.  All I will say of it was my family member and someone who said they were my friend posted all the stuff he did such as posting an obit on here with names etc, I would kick his ass all over town and then post the pictures.  Think about if it were one of your family members then think about who the real disrespectful one is.  

[bubba]

and by the way MGMorden I took no offense to your words because that is what they are is words which you have the right to say.  If you knew me you would know I am no internet tough guy.  I say how I feel not to impress you or anyone else, which is also my right.  But I will say this think about the family members of this guy whos privacy has now been violated world wide and they can now get on here to read all this as well as the world.  How did that help this situation?

[blind ear]

+1 bubba, eddie

[schutzen]

Guys,

These people are not cowards, they are mentally ill.  One of my best friends committed suicide, and I can guarantee you he was not a coward.  We shared too many long nights in foxholes.  A man that splits his last magazine with you just before daylight is not a coward; he's a damn good friend.

It took me a long time to get over his death, but I came to realize that it is a disease just like measles or small pox.  Some people are recognized as having the disease and are treated for it.  Others, usually the smart ones who can hide it, are not treated and commit or attempt to commit suicide.

Pray for those who are gone and pray for those of us who remain behind, hopefully we will all be a peace one day.

[slim rem 7]

i understand where you guys are coming from.. but in my opinion.. i nor you are the judge of a man or woman that takes thier own life..that jobs already taken..so thats my opinion of condeming a person for commiting suicide.. i hope im never guilty of it..you never walked a foot,, much less a mile in thier shoes.
 there but for the grace of god go anyone of us.. everybodies got a breaking point..we don t get to determine our genetics an so many other things..jmo.slim

[Redtail1949]

to discuss the situation..thats fine suicide has affected probably evetone here in one way or another. names that was too far as stated the living family may not appreciate it.