Jim;
Yep! That among other things. But, I think the worst part of it all was losing the desire to live (or at least thinking that way).
BUT!! With the meds, I am doing so much better!!!! I feel much like my old self.
Yesterday morning was about 45 degrees and light drizzle. I loaded the 4-wheeler and took off to a 1200 acre spot that I have permission to trap on. Spent a good part of the day out there and never noticed the dampness! Wonderful to be able to do that. Found a lot of beaver sign in a river that runs through the place. The pasture lands had a lot of coyote sign (especially a lot of scat near gates connecting the different pastures in the bottom land), and found plenty of cat locations on the ridge around the clear cut and rock ledges. Also, plenty of grey fox sign. I'll need quite a few sets on this place. Found a lot of deer track (one really big buck in particular) and found a bobcat skull and a wild hog skull.
I am really looking forward to getting to trap this place. But, if (God forbid) for some reason, I didn't get to trap there, I will not forget the enjoyment I had just being out there yesterday and getting the chance to do a little scouting. I think that is a big part of trapping! Being out and finding what you are looking for, being a "fit in" part of nature. Sure, I want the catches, and sure I want to get a good price for my pelts; but money from the furs is not what it used to be for me. Maybe I can catch enough possum :? to buy another trap or two. I am just very, very thankful that I can be out there. If we all just take the time to marvel at it all, it really is a spiritual experience.