WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:
Men Are Just Happier People-- What
do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays
put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of
themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President.
You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water
park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell
you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive
to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a
bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding d ress
$5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when
you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle
your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are
over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day
vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own
jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of
thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can
still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a
three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost
never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see
wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its
original colour. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe
decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can
play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes --
one colour for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your
legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have
freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can
do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25
minutes. No wonder men are happier.
