Author Topic: Bear attack!  (Read 791 times)

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline Oldshooter

  • GBO subscriber and supporter
  • Moderators
  • Trade Count: (4)
  • Senior Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6426
Bear attack!
« on: January 24, 2010, 05:11:03 PM »
         A Priest went on vacation for a few days to visit the rugged mountains of Alaska. He was cruising around the campground  when he heard a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods.

         He found a helpless Democrat wearing shorts, sandals, a Vote for Obama hat and a Save the Trees shirt. The man was screaming and struggling frantically, thrashing all about and trying to free himself
from the grasp of a 10-foot grizzly bear.

        As the Priest watched in horror, a group of Republican loggers wearing Go Sarah shirts came racing up.
One quickly fired a 44 magnum slug right into the bear's chest. The two other men pulled the semiconscious Democrat from the bear's grasp. Then using baseball bats, the three loggers finished off the
bear. Two of the men dragged the dead grizzly onto the bed of
their pickup truck The other tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat.

As they began to leave, the Priest summoned all of the men
over to him. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions!" he proudly
proclaimed. "I have heard there was bitter hatred between Republican
loggers and Democratic environmental activists, but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true."

         

    As the Priest drove off, one logger asked his buddies, "Who the heck was
that guy?"  "Dude, that was a Priest," another replied.
"He's in direct contact with Heaven and has access to all wisdom."

         

         "Well," the logger said, "he may have access to all wisdom but he doesn't

         know beans about bear hunting!  By the way, is the bait still alive or do we

         need to go back to Massachusetts and get another one?"

“Owning a handgun doesn’t make you armed any more than owning a guitar makes you a musician.”

"Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery."

Offline mechanic

  • GBO Supporter
  • Trade Count: (32)
  • Senior Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5112
  • Gender: Male
Re: Bear attack!
« Reply #1 on: January 24, 2010, 05:24:05 PM »
Now that's funny.....unless you're from Massachusetts ;D
Molon Labe, (King Leonidas of the Spartan Army)

Offline Sourdough

  • Trade Count: (1)
  • Senior Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8150
  • Gender: Male
Re: Bear attack!
« Reply #2 on: January 25, 2010, 09:52:58 AM »
Hay!  They need to go to Conneticut that is where Defenders Of Wildlife is based.
Where is old Joe when we really need him?  Alaska Independence    Calling Illegal Immigrants "Undocumented Aliens" is like calling Drug Dealers "Unlicensed Pharmacists"
What Is A Veteran?
A 'Veteran' -- whether active duty, discharged, retired, or reserve -- is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America,' for an amount of 'up to, and including his life.' That is honor, and there are way too many people in this country today who no longer understand that fact.

Offline Skunk

  • Trade Count: (2)
  • Senior Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3520
Re: Bear attack!
« Reply #3 on: January 25, 2010, 10:25:34 AM »
That's a good one, Oldshooter. ;D
Mike

"Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition" - Frank Loesser

Offline D Crockett

  • Trade Count: (35)
  • Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 418
Re: Bear attack!
« Reply #4 on: January 25, 2010, 06:19:49 PM »
thanks oldshooter I needed that laugh D Crockett

Offline Oldshooter

  • GBO subscriber and supporter
  • Moderators
  • Trade Count: (4)
  • Senior Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6426
Re: Bear attack!
« Reply #5 on: January 26, 2010, 12:36:38 AM »
My pleasure Pardner! When I read it the first time I laughed out loud! Now when I read it again I still laugh out loud!   ;D
“Owning a handgun doesn’t make you armed any more than owning a guitar makes you a musician.”

"Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery."

Offline nw_hunter

  • Moderator
  • Trade Count: (4)
  • Senior Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5203
  • Gender: Male
Re: Bear attack!
« Reply #6 on: January 26, 2010, 10:40:18 AM »
         A Priest went on vacation for a few days to visit the rugged mountains of Alaska. He was cruising around the campground  when he heard a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods.

         He found a helpless Democrat wearing shorts, sandals, a Vote for Obama hat and a Save the Trees shirt. The man was screaming and struggling frantically, thrashing all about and trying to free himself
from the grasp of a 10-foot grizzly bear.

        As the Priest watched in horror, a group of Republican loggers wearing Go Sarah shirts came racing up.
One quickly fired a 44 magnum slug right into the bear's chest. The two other men pulled the semiconscious Democrat from the bear's grasp. Then using baseball bats, the three loggers finished off the
bear. Two of the men dragged the dead grizzly onto the bed of
their pickup truck The other tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat.

As they began to leave, the Priest summoned all of the men
over to him. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions!" he proudly
proclaimed. "I have heard there was bitter hatred between Republican
loggers and Democratic environmental activists, but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true."

         

    As the Priest drove off, one logger asked his buddies, "Who the heck was
that guy?"  "Dude, that was a Priest," another replied.
"He's in direct contact with Heaven and has access to all wisdom."

         

         "Well," the logger said, "he may have access to all wisdom but he doesn't

         know beans about bear hunting!  By the way, is the bait still alive or do we

         need to go back to Massachusetts and get another one?"




LOL! That is is new version of a an old joke..........The one I heard as a youth (Many moons ago) was He don't know nuthin about trolling for gator's.
Freedom Of Speech.....Once we lose it, every other freedom will follow.

Offline Oldshooter

  • GBO subscriber and supporter
  • Moderators
  • Trade Count: (4)
  • Senior Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6426
Re: Bear attack!
« Reply #7 on: January 26, 2010, 12:28:06 PM »
Well N W hunter, that was prolly not politically correct back then, and we are nothing here at gbo if we are not politically correct!  ::)   ;D
“Owning a handgun doesn’t make you armed any more than owning a guitar makes you a musician.”

"Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery."

Offline Dee

  • Trade Count: (2)
  • Senior Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 23870
  • Gender: Male
Re: Bear attack!
« Reply #8 on: January 26, 2010, 01:30:27 PM »
nw_hunter, I remember the one about trollin for gators. That one goes back to the mid 60s. Gosh! What was that goin on back then?;D This bear one is just a critter change with the same motif.
You may all go to hell, I will go to Texas. Davy Crockett

Offline AtlLaw

  • Moderators
  • Trade Count: (58)
  • Senior Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6405
  • Gender: Male
  • A good woman, nice bike and fine guns!
Re: Bear attack!
« Reply #9 on: January 27, 2010, 07:41:55 AM »
That one goes back to the mid 60s. Gosh! What was that goin on back then?;D

As I remember it, Lyndon Johnson was congratulatin' the boys that was fishing for takin his legisltion to heart...  ::)
Richard
Former Captain of Horse, keeper of the peace and interpreter of statute.  Currently a Gentleman of leisure.
Nemo me impune lacessit

                      
Support your local US Military Vets Motorcycle Club

Offline redboot612

  • GBO Supporter
  • Trade Count: (1)
  • Avid Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 111
  • Gender: Male
Re: Bear attack!
« Reply #10 on: January 27, 2010, 02:58:35 PM »
Now thats funny...I don't care what bus you came in on!!!

Red
Beware of the man that carries a single shot rifle, because there won't be any warning shots!!!

Offline Dee

  • Trade Count: (2)
  • Senior Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 23870
  • Gender: Male
Re: Bear attack!
« Reply #11 on: January 27, 2010, 03:00:02 PM »
That's right up there with the chain thief. ???
You may all go to hell, I will go to Texas. Davy Crockett

Offline spikehorn

  • GBO Supporter
  • Trade Count: (84)
  • Senior Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3000
  • Gender: Male
Re: Bear attack!
« Reply #12 on: January 27, 2010, 03:31:48 PM »
Seeing how they just opened black bear in my area I could just go 8 miles north to Ithaca N.Y. and get some bear bait. There is a great bumper sticker around this area  "Ithaca N.Y. 10 square miles surrounded by reality"
308 win                 45-70                       12ga         
30-30                    223 stainless steel   20ga TDC
44 mag                  Tracker II 20ga        20ga
45-70 Manlicher     20ga USH                28ga
                                                              410ga

Offline Dee

  • Trade Count: (2)
  • Senior Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 23870
  • Gender: Male
Re: Bear attack!
« Reply #13 on: January 27, 2010, 03:44:10 PM »
I've seen a bumper sticker that says the same thing about Boulder Colorado.
You may all go to hell, I will go to Texas. Davy Crockett

Offline spikehorn

  • GBO Supporter
  • Trade Count: (84)
  • Senior Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3000
  • Gender: Male
Re: Bear attack!
« Reply #14 on: January 27, 2010, 04:09:17 PM »
Dee they're probably just transplants from Ithaca
308 win                 45-70                       12ga         
30-30                    223 stainless steel   20ga TDC
44 mag                  Tracker II 20ga        20ga
45-70 Manlicher     20ga USH                28ga
                                                              410ga

Offline Dee

  • Trade Count: (2)
  • Senior Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 23870
  • Gender: Male
Re: Bear attack!
« Reply #15 on: January 27, 2010, 05:24:55 PM »
You could be right. I lived up there twice, and didn't meet many native Coloradans.
You may all go to hell, I will go to Texas. Davy Crockett