Don't you want to be somebody?

[Heather]

Well I had a question asked to me yesterday that left me utterly dumbfounded and speechless.  While sitting and talking with a friend and her mom about homeschooling my children, this lady actually asked me if I was really content just staying at home. When I answered yes she went on to say, "Don't you want to be somebody?  Don't you want to do something important with your life?  After staring speechless for a few moments I finally answered that I thought I already was!!!  

Why is it that women look down on other women who stay home and take care of their kids?  Am I less of a woman because I don't ship my kids off to school for seven hours a day?  People say being a stay at home mom is not 'real' work.  Why is one of the most important jobs in the world...preparing our youth for the future...not a good enough job?  I understand that what I do is very time consuming, wears on the patience, takes all of my energy, and is an around the clock job.  I have worked a 'real' job for several years and I tell you I have NEVER done anything as hard as what I do now, but I guess according to some I need to find a real job so my life may be important!  

Heather

[SHOOTALL]

Heather , I worked two jobs so my wife could stay home . I worked commerical construction and most of the time i travled over an hour to get to work . MY WIFE WORKED HARDER AT HOME. to my wifes credit we have three yound adults now that work and are good kids and Americans . They are part of the next generation that may get this country back on track. I don't know what other job she could have had that would have been less selfish or more important .

 Sorry but your friend seems selfish . Or either she fears she will fail at motherhood. Did she ?
Sit her down and explain what children are to our future and what a wife and mother do for the world .

[FourBee]

Staying at home is to much responsibility for many women.

[Blackhawker]

Heather, you're more than just "somebody", you're a mom!  Add to it, you're a stay at home mom, which means you take who you are seriously.

Don't you want to do something important with your life?

You're doing the most important job in the world; teaching your children and caring for and about their future.  What can be more important than that?

[Dee]

Heather, understand that you can't fix stupid. The woman was merely proclaiming her SELF INDULGENCE and saying it was alright to do so.

[SHOOTALL]

She was looking for company as misery love company !

[okieshooter]

My dad always called it being a "Domestic Engineer". I bet her job title does not sound that cool! I think it is good for a women to stay home but unfortunately times are getting to where for some it is no longer possible. I know it is hard work from watching my wife do it for years but she also loved every minute of it. Hang in there.

[nw_hunter]

A mother's work is not just invisible; it can become a handicap. Raising children may be the most important job in the world, but you can't put it on a resume. Motherhood is the Most Important Job in the World and Still the Least Valued.She is lucky to have a friend like you, and perhaps some of your values will rub off on her!

The good mother, the wise mother . . . is more important to the community than even the ablest man; her career is more worthy of honor and is more useful to the community than the career of any man, no matter how successful.
--Theodore Roosevelt

[SHOOTALL]

Her mistakes are viewed by the world , that's pressure to preform

[teamnelson]

My wife has her degree and done some graduate work, but chose to stay home and homeschool our kids. We've gotten used to the condescending looks and stupid questions. My daughter was a first round selected cadet for the Coast Guard Academy, President of National Honor Society, on and on and on ... completely homeschooled. Her 14 yo brother just finished his Sophmore year, VP in NHS, athletic, outgoing, musician ... completely homeschooled. My wife did that, I know it; I hope she knows it. That is far more valuable to us than whatever $ she could have made over the years. And a crowning achievement for any Mom.

But now we get the other kinds of questions, from the not happy Moms, the ones whose kids are having trouble in school, etc. They want to know how we made it work, they want to figure out how to dispel the mythology they were fed because they know its not working. In the long run I hope you'll get 10 times as many of those questions as you will the other kind.

Great job Heather, you are somebody!

[Clodhopper]

The way I figure it, the woman that raises a good, well mannered, and honorable bunch of younguns is "SOMEBODY"!  No matter whether she has to work two jobs just to put food on the table, and home schools the kids at the same time like one woman I know, or is a stay at home mother who runs the household and raises the kids while her team mate (husband) works long hours, she is a power to be reckoned with.  Glory to the mothers of this world, without them none of us would be here!  Happy Mother's Day, Heather!

[bearmgc]

Heather should not believe or be affected by everything she hears. That lady is only trying to justify her own actions by belittling Heather.  Grow a hide and believe in yourself and what you are doing. Raising a family is hard and serious work. That's why there are so many who don't.

[DDZ]

Many women today shuffle the responsibility on to someone else to keep their kids while they go to a job. A mom that stays at home has the hardest job there is. They raise kids, keep the home in order, make sure bills are paid, do the shopping, mow the lawn, and many other chores. I figure the reason many are not stay at home moms is because it is hard, and the job they go to is much easier. I realize that some Moms have to go to work to make ends meet, but many just can't handle the stay at home mom job. After all is it not easier to just dump your kids at a daycare, or parents home, and go to work. Then split the at home duties with the husband.
Both parents get home after an 8 or 10 hour day, get dinner ready, do other things that need taken care of, and after that is done, where is the important time for their children that all children need. Many kids end up as an after thought because of Mommy and daddy's jobs.      
Women that think a stay at home mom is not real work, assume that, because they never did it. If they did they would know otherwise.
Heather, if this country had more Moms like you, that did stay at home with the children, I believe the country would be better off. Staying at home and teaching your kids right from wrong is the most important job there is.
   Many say that a Mom giving up a career to stay at home and raise kids may cost you around a million dollars in wages, health care, and pension, but the benefit to your children for you to stay at home and raise them is priceless.

[mcwoodduck]

Unfortunatly with the tax and housing situation many Women have to work and the Fema Nazi, the education people and the child care industries want you to work and try to make you feel bad that you are willing to give up some creature comforts and not put your kids into the child warehouse drone factory that they call child care and public schools.  They do not want you to teach your kids reasoning, help them through any hurtles they have in understanding math, english, science, government and history to make them a better person, better citizen, a responsible adult that understand that raising their children is what parenthood is about.
Tell her sorry she does not understand that it is not about herself but about the kids and you do not want to leave the education of your children up to some 20 something NEA drone that thinks global warming that does not follow the scientific therory teaching scientific therory is real.

[mouse]

Heather you are a treasure, keep doing what you are doing. Both of my daughter-in-laws are currently staying home with my grandbabies and I am TICKLED PINK.

mouse

[Brett]

Nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom.  In fact there is a whole lot right with it. I'm working with some ladies who are helping other moms do just that. 

[oldandslow]

Heather, don't let people like get to you. My wife stayed home and raised the kids and then helped raise the grandkids. Grandkids are easier but it's still a chore. She's helping with a great grandkid now. I had a good enough job that we could afford for her to stay home but you know what? My job involved some pretty hard work and long hours at times but there is no way I would have traded jobs with my wife. Stay at home moms are special people. Anyone not smart enough to understand that are not worth paying attention to. If more women could (financially) or would stay home and take care of their kids we would probably see a lot less problems with with a lot of the kids now days. Be proud of what you are doing.

[The Hermit]

May 5th was my mothers birthday and she was a stay at home mom. She was the center of the family, knew what was going on, watched over, loved, and took care of all of us, while dad kept a job to provide cash. She is missed and was the most important "somebody" in my life.

   The Hermit

[mechanic]

Heather,
Given the option of a visit with the president, or a visit with your family, I'd rather drive to Alabama.  We all know who is important in this country.  It's folks like you who take family serious that will save this country if it can be saved.

Keep up  the good work, and maybe some of these lessor women will learn from your example.....

[torpedoman]

My wife retired from the work force for a real job the day i married her. She stayed home and raised the kids a harder less rewarding task. I am just an old male chauvinist pig but a womans place is in the home raising the kids. If more were doing that the whole society would be better off and maybe the younger generation would have some respect for something.

[Ron/Pa.]

 Back in the early 80`s I lost my job. Ended up doing the Mommy thing while the Missus went to work. In my life I have been a Factory worker, Roofer, Carpentor, and finally a Custodian for a Pa. State College. I have never had a rougher job than doing the Mommy thing. God bless them all....

[Gun Runner]

Both of my wifes kids were home schooled from the time they started high school. Being country raised they dint do well with the CITY kids who knew nothing. Daughter has 3 kids and teachs special kids with reading problems. Son is working on a degree in computers so he can start his own bus. Wife worked while they were in grade school (her and husban had devorced when kids were very young) to provide for them.

Gun Runner

[Mikey]

"Why is it that women look down on other women who stay home and take care of their kids?"  Because they are idiots.  They cannot imagine doing as you do because they simply do not have what it takes and cannot phathom either the depth of committment required or having the ability to do so.  These are the same idiots who prefer a profession over family, wait until they are so old to have children that their eggs walk down their falopian tubes on walkers, immediately dump their children into the hands of 'nannies' or other surrogate mothers so they can return to the office and brag about having a baby (somewhere), but then later bemoan the lack of bonding and failed parental relationships between mother and child. 

They are idiots; take what they say with a grain of salt and consider the source. 

Just remember that their children become serial killers, jihadists or mass murderers, and then blame their mothers.........

[SHOOTALL]

Think about it , when a man or woman who has no children get off from work they go home to a different enviroment . A wife and mother never do They may go to bed or take a short break ( big maybe ) but they never get far from the work . And they are on call 24-7 . The the husban comes home to add more responsiblity on her .
Hey mom's you ain't someone you is a bunch of folks !

[Victor3]

 Something to consider about homeschooling that's rarely mentioned is the education the parents receive in the process.

 My Wife, now having homeschooled our Son to age 11, tells me she's absorbed and been able to retain more than she ever did up to her senior year in (public) high school. I've also learned a lot of things I should have already known.

 Homeschooling our kids not only helps them, it helps us parents to recover from any dumbing-down (or just daydreaming) we may have experienced when we were going through school ourselves. It's a win-win for parents and kids individually, not to mention the general benefit to society by having a more educated population both now and in the future.
 

[magooch]

Heather, why would you even care what someone else thinks about your decisions for your family?  You are lucky to have a choice of how you want to manage your children.  As some have already stated, it is almost imperative that some young mothers work.

My wife stayed at home until the kids were old enough to be on their own after school and then she got a job.  So there is that aspect; your life doesn't begin and end with your offspring.  My wife would never have had to work, but the fact that she did, made it that much more possible for both of us to retire at a relatively early age.

I am watching my daughter raise her young family and it sometimes makes me tired just to witness it.  She has started and run her own business for the last several years.  She has three kids--two are still in grade school and she spends an inordinate amount of time shuffling those kids around to soccer and all sorts of other activities.  All of this and she still has to deal with the business and all of her employees.  Her husband also has his own business and he has neither the time, nor the energy to give her much of a break.  As I often say--different strokes for different folks.

[Old Fart]

Why is it that women look down on other women who stay home and take care of their kids?  

It helps them feel better about being failures at raising thier own kids.

  Am I less of a woman because I don't ship my kids off to school for seven hours a day?

Not in my books.
They should try putting up with thier kids all day 7 days a week.
Would probably change thier opinion.

  People say being a stay at home mom is not 'real' work.

As a educator I often get to watch my G'kids for extended periods during the summer.
I love my grandkids dearly. But they can wear on your nerves.

[burntmuch]

I work two jobs so my wife can stay home with the kids. I can tell you when I come home tired & wore down . My wife had a harder day than I did. for sure. Plus her day isnt over yet. dinner, homework, bathes, then the final clean up after all that. Heather keep doing what you,re doing. You,re produceing our most important product. Our future. Have your friend spend a day with a 2year old baby. See how that works out.

[dukkillr]

God gave each of us our own finite amount of time on this planet to spend as we see fit.  Some want to prove themselves in the business world.  Some want to run marathons.  Some want to put all their energy in raising their children.  Whatever it is, it's not my job to pass judgement either way.  Provided they aren't harming me, it's not up to me to decide their life's ambitions or goals.

[SHOOTALL]

Heather - hope you invite your "friend" to read these post as it might plant a seed in her mind.