To Spank or Not to Spank?
Spanking children as a form of discipline has been debated in this country since its very foundation. The Chesapeake settlers from England had strict methods of parenting and used corporal punishment along with shame to discipline their children. Religious thought drove parenting principals in the New World as many settlers were Puritans who believed that children were born evil and as they grew both parents instructed them by example and corrected with spanking when necessary. John Locke sparked the spanking controversy in his 1690,
Essay Concerning Human Understanding, that the child resembled a blank tablet (tabula rasa) at birth and received knowledge through sense impressions, which were ordered by the innate power of reason. He advocates for not spanking children, but rewarding good behavior with esteem and punishing bad behavior with disgrace and by withdrawing parental approval and affection. (REINIER)
Over the centuries the controversy has pretty much stayed the same. Does spanking work as an effective form of discipline? Some experts argue that not only does spanking not work as an effective form of discipline but also teaches children bad behavior. They argue that hitting kids teaches them to be hitters themselves. According to The National Child Project, spanking teaches children it is ok to abuse those younger or smaller than you are and even goes so far as to say “Spanking on the buttocks, an erogenous zone in childhood, can create in the child's mind an association between pain and sexual pleasure, and lead to difficulties in adulthood.” (Hunt)
In extreme cases of only abuse with no affection I can see how this scenario could be possible, but when spanking is used in correlation with good example and a loving nurturing home environment, it cannot be that detrimental to the lives of children. “According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, about 90 percent of U.S. parents spank, and about 59 percent of pediatricians in a 1992 survey said they support the practice.” (These Last Days Ministries, Inc.) If spanking was so harmful to children then ninety percent of adults would be screwed up. I do not feel that is the case.
Another huge debate today is the question of is spanking moral? There are some that argue that it is just cruel and unjust to hit a child. The advocates of spanking actually take their basis for spanking from a booked often referred to as our moral code, the Bible. The Bible says, "He who spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes" (Proverbs 13:24) and "Withhold not correction from a child: for if thou strike him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from hell." (Proverbs 23:13-14) (These Last Days Ministries, Inc.)
Those who argue that spanking is not effective use the basis that corporal punishment distracts the child from learning how to resolve conflict in an effective and humane way. (Hunt) In order for this to be an effective form of reasoning then we first have to accept as fact that spanking is inhumane. I do not feel that is the case. When used in moderation and only when necessary, spanking can be a very effective form of punishment. I do not advocate for beating children for minor infractions, but choose to let the punishment fit the crime. A swat to the hand is a whole lot more humane in my opinion than allowing a child to burn themselves on something hot. When using the spanking method when teaching children not to touch the stove, then child associates pain with reaching for the stove as they should. When using the time out method children are only learning to obey their parents because they say so. They do not associate the danger of pain with something hot.
There are times that time-outs are more appropriate than spankings. When siblings are arguing over something, then separating them and putting them in time-out gives them time to step away from the situation and think things through. At the same time when a small child runs into a street a firm swat to the behind gets the message across that the behavior is unacceptable and dangerous a lot more appropriately than a time-out.
When deciding which instances deserve a time out or a spanking, I prefer to use the common sense method. If the action the child is performing is likely to cause danger or harm to them or someone else, then I feel that a mild spanking is appropriate and helps the child to more easily associate the actions as dangerous or likely to cause harm to them. When the action the child is performing is not directly harmful and could be easier to resolve with some cool down time then a time-out is suitable. As children get older there are other instances when revoking privileges is the most appropriate form of punishment. Stay out past curfew, loose the car for the week. Do not do your homework; do not go out that weekend.
Whichever method of punishment one chooses the most important part of discipline is that the child understands both the crime and the punishment. It is vital to talk to the child and explain why they are being punished. Children should never be spanked without knowing why. When children understand why they are being punished they will emulate behavior that draws positive attention instead of negative. In order to encourage children to perform positive actions to seek positive attention they should be rewarded for good behavior; Spanking is not the answer all of the time, but I am a firm believer that when used appropriately it can encourage positive change in behavior without negative consequences.
Works Cited
Hunt, Jan. Ten Reasons Not to Hit Your Kids. nd. 14 April 2010 <http://www.naturalchild.org/jan_hunt/tenreasons.html>.
REINIER, JACQUELINE S. "Discipline." nd. Encyclopedia of Children and Childhood in History and Society. 12 April 2010 <Encyclopedia of Children and Childhood in History and Society>.
These Last Days Ministries, Inc. Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child. 03 February 2010. 14 April 2010 <http://www.tldm.org/news6/child.discipline.htm>.
