Don't laugh, she's paid for. (The bike that is. Still paying on the wife, but she's a good investment.)
The stone man is Frank Vigo, who invested his personal fortune in the American cause during the Revolutionary war to secure the western frontier. When the war was over, he sat down to wait for reimbursement from congress.
And he waited ... And waited ... In fact, he waited sooooo loooong he turned to stone.
Sometimes the river is behind him, sometimes in his lap.
He's a patient man.