27 Nov 03: Joe Duncan, AKA the Rascal, ate his share of turkey dinner, then his son's, two grand daughters and mothers share. His belly went to swellin so he drank three liters of cheap red wine and headed out to check his traps. By the time he got to the barn he was seeing pink trucks,elephants and horses. In this drunken state of confusion he mistakenly got on his wife's riding mower instead of the ATV, AKA the Milk Wagon. The family couldn't catch him as he disappeared over the hill at then end of the lane. Thirty mins or so later a loud BOOM was heard from the direction of Joe's first traps. Upon investigation, it was determined that Joe over ran a dragged trap and the chain wrapped up in the mower blade. Of course this brought the trap, including the 25 lb possum, to Joe's attention. Well he must have thought the possum was RdFx or Newt. The Sheriff came to this conclusion based on the perminent "smile" on Joes face which was evident as soon as they remove the possum form his mouth. The boom, that was heard county wide, was apparently the result of the possum plugging one escape route for the gases brewing in Joes gut. A rapid and massive release of gas from the "other" route was inginited by the over heated muffler of the mower.
Poor old Joey! It is not known if Joe will recover. But, if he does the Docs say it will be some time before his evacuation port will be normal.
Lets all join in and pray for Joey's speedy recovery.
