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Author Topic: Women, sometimes they are just, AAAAAAAAAAAAgh  (Read 710 times)

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Offline Sourdough

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Women, sometimes they are just, AAAAAAAAAAAAgh
« on: September 17, 2010, 07:50:14 AM »
Got up this morning, went and got the paper.  Fixed Breakfast, read the paper, got on the computer checked my e-mails, checked Graybeard.  Meantime wife takes dog out, then gets ready for work.  I notice it takes a long time for her to take dog out, but don't think too much about it.  Go on with my routine.  Go outside to wash boat from last nights Beaver activity.  Boat is in total disarray, Beaver carcusses had been eaten.  What happened to my boat?  I turned and came back in and commented to the wife as she is leaving something messed with my boat this morning.  Her comment, "Yea, there was a Black Bear in it about an hour ago".  Sky and I both turned and said "WHAT".  She says, "Yes there was a Black Bear in it, and Ernie (our Beagle) did not want to go out and pee".  "So I ended up taking him out front".  Sky and I both screamed, "Why didn't you tell us".  She said, "You guys would have just shot it, poor little bear was just looking for something to eat".  Then she got into her car and drove away.

Sky and I went out back and looked around.  Bear is gone, right down the pipeline.  I called her on her cell as she went to work.  Told her she needed a beating, she threatened to shoot me too.  I'll throw somemore Beaver carcusses in the boat tonight and sit up watching it.

                                                                          WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Offline Tommyt

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Re: Women, sometimes they are just, AAAAAAAAAAAAgh
« Reply #1 on: September 17, 2010, 08:05:13 AM »
Bear and Babe 1
Sour D  = Zero  ;D

Lmao
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Offline powderman

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Re: Women, sometimes they are just, AAAAAAAAAAAAgh
« Reply #2 on: September 17, 2010, 09:28:48 AM »
edit.
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Offline myronman3

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Re: Women, sometimes they are just, AAAAAAAAAAAAgh
« Reply #3 on: September 17, 2010, 09:32:03 AM »
and you just figured this out this morning? 
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Offline Squib

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Re: Women, sometimes they are just, AAAAAAAAAAAAgh
« Reply #4 on: September 17, 2010, 02:03:40 PM »
WOW!  I'd have told her to let me sleep through a home invasion by rapists too, unless they try to nab my guns on the way out.  Mine at least alerts me but everytime I go outside to see what's what and who's who (bad neighborhood, people cut through the backyard and alley sometimes, usually just passing through) she stops me from gearing up and says ".. oh it's nothing..".  so I wonder why I was woke up, she gets mad because I'm rude, I'm mad that she's jerking me around, and then I run outside anyways (half naked) and run them off if they're actually still out there.  INFURIATING!!!!
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Offline Dee

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Re: Women, sometimes they are just, AAAAAAAAAAAAgh
« Reply #5 on: September 17, 2010, 02:18:20 PM »
Sourdough, that is just too damn funny, and after reading you for quites some time, I have a feelin your more apt to get shot than she is to get a beating. ;D
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Offline Squib

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Re: Women, sometimes they are just, AAAAAAAAAAAAgh
« Reply #6 on: September 17, 2010, 02:42:05 PM »
if she does aim in on you just keep talking so she gets mad enough to get "shaky hands", hopefully she misses.   ::)
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Offline Sourdough

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Re: Women, sometimes they are just, AAAAAAAAAAAAgh
« Reply #7 on: September 17, 2010, 03:21:09 PM »
I tease her a lot about her needing a beating, but in 33 years I have never had an inclination to strike her.  She is just too good to me. 

Second no way to make her jerky with a gun, and the woman can shoot her pistols.  She has one .44 mag, one .41 mag, four .357s, one 9MM, and one .22. 

She is one of those women that you can not fluster.  When she gets scared, she gets quite and calm.  I call that deadly. 
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What Is A Veteran?
A 'Veteran' -- whether active duty, discharged, retired, or reserve -- is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America,' for an amount of 'up to, and including his life.' That is honor, and there are way too many people in this country today who no longer understand that fact.

Offline SteveHawaii

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Re: Women, sometimes they are just, AAAAAAAAAAAAgh
« Reply #8 on: September 17, 2010, 03:46:48 PM »
I'm not sure if this isn't a woman problem, but a human problem.  I think the "typical" woman out there would have the husband getting a gun quick, if there was bear in the back yard.  My wife wouldn't even go out the door!  Sounds like your wife may have simply been exercising her will.  Now that's not exclusive to women.
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Offline BBF

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Re: Women, sometimes they are just, AAAAAAAAAAAAgh
« Reply #9 on: September 17, 2010, 06:58:09 PM »
My ears would still be ringing a week after the screaming stopped :D
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Offline Oldshooter

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Re: Women, sometimes they are just, AAAAAAAAAAAAgh
« Reply #10 on: September 17, 2010, 07:04:24 PM »
Good Story SD. I'll not hold my breath waiting for you to give her that beatn! Good luck with the bear killn!
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Offline rockbilly

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Re: Women, sometimes they are just, AAAAAAAAAAAAgh
« Reply #11 on: September 18, 2010, 02:47:01 AM »
Good laugh! ;D ;D ;D
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Offline Land_Owner

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Re: Women, sometimes they are just, AAAAAAAAAAAAgh
« Reply #12 on: September 18, 2010, 03:04:17 AM »
Man oh Man!  She's been watching Yogi and Boo Boo Bear cartoons for too long!  Poor Boo Boo, just looking for a "pic-a-nic" basket.  Take Ernie with you.  He knows where that bear is holed up.  Whatcha goona do with a Lady like that?  Absolutely Nothin'!  Maybe try the reverse psychology of "I'm just not going to hunt them bears anymore..." 


NOT!
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Offline williamlayton

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Re: Women, sometimes they are just, AAAAAAAAAAAAgh
« Reply #13 on: September 18, 2010, 03:17:55 AM »
You know---just know---that I understand your frustration. Man, they can do some of the darndest things sometimes.
The first inclination is to beat 'em with a knotted plowline---then sense comes into play and you know that she will be awake when you go to sleep.
It is a good laugh and you just keep on, keepin on---it will happen again.
48 years has taught me that.
Anticipation!!
Blessings
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Offline BBF

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Re: Women, sometimes they are just, AAAAAAAAAAAAgh
« Reply #14 on: September 18, 2010, 05:57:16 AM »
Quote from: williamlayton on September 18, 2010, 03:17:55 AM
---then sense comes into play and you know that she will be awake when you go to sleep.


a reason for seperate bedrooms :D
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Offline Sourdough

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Re: Women, sometimes they are just, AAAAAAAAAAAAgh
« Reply #15 on: September 18, 2010, 09:21:07 AM »
Spent the early morning out watching over the carcusses I left in the boat last night.  No bear, will try again tonight.

Had a friend in Mississippi once who's husband would get liquored up and come home and beat her.  One night he got carried away and burned her with a cigar.  When he went to sleep she got up and went into the kitchen.  Got a castiron skillet, and back to the bedroom.  Shook the old man to wake him, and as he sat up she laid it up side his head.  Then she turned it on it's side and started chopping.  She broke coller bones, arms, fingers, ribs, one leg bone, and multiple toes on both feet, she calmly sat down and called the police.  Police took her story and hauled them both to the hospital.

First thing he saw when he awoke was her sitting up in the bed opposite him glaring at him.  He was totally unable to move and get away, and for the next few days he was scared half to death that she would finish him off right there in the Hospital.

As for Michelle, when she really gets mad, she glares at me.  Picks up a knife, holds it aloft and says, "You remember one thing, LORANIA".  I'm the best behaved guy in Alaska for the next week or so, till she is over being mad.
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Where is old Joe when we really need him?  Alaska Independence    Calling Illegal Immigrants "Undocumented Aliens" is like calling Drug Dealers "Unlicensed Pharmacists"
What Is A Veteran?
A 'Veteran' -- whether active duty, discharged, retired, or reserve -- is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America,' for an amount of 'up to, and including his life.' That is honor, and there are way too many people in this country today who no longer understand that fact.

Offline myronman3

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Re: Women, sometimes they are just, AAAAAAAAAAAAgh
« Reply #16 on: September 18, 2010, 02:01:50 PM »
i do not threaten, beat, or even joke about hitting a woman.   that being said, i do not tolerate women who threaten, joke, or try to get violent with me, either.   one time and they are down road with my favorite word spouting from my lips......"NEXT!"   ;D
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Offline srussell

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Re: Women, sometimes they are just, AAAAAAAAAAAAgh
« Reply #17 on: September 18, 2010, 02:07:08 PM »
had a uncle that beat his wife. she git tired of it and shot hin 6 times with his own gun. the air force called it justified.   good girl i say. now S.D. you buy her a new hand gun, take her to dinner, tell her shes the boss and you,ll live till the next brain fart  ;D ;D ;D
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