You're not a "downer," Bugflipper, but a realist methinks.
My dad passed away a few years ago, both of us were big Louis L'Amour fans. L'Amour often mentioned in many of his european stories how the family home or abode might have a "back door" or escape route from danger! Something often contemplated in midevil europe.
My pops pointed out to me a couple times how such a feature was too often overlooked in the USA, especially in the 20th century.
Plus I agree that modern "stick homes" and modular-built (homes built of 2x4 framing with gypsum walls and fiberglass insulation, and asphalt roofing) are not robust enough to withstand a powerful seige! Crud, a .30/06 bullet ccould easily go completely through 90-plus percent of all American homes!
I think a hardened, better-protected home is a good idea if possible (borrowing some of Jeff Cooper's ideas and 'designs?' -one example), but a panic room or "hardened" basement might be more feasible most often than hardening the whole house (or a cast iron bathtub! But can the family hide in the old bathtub at the same time!!??). Of course I'd want to incorporate a means to escape a fire as well as bad guys trying to break in!).
Methinks layering a home's defenses is still the best places to start (lighting at night, creating the paths a person must take (any person who approaches the house - like 'fields of fire' the Army sets up on a battelfield before a battle)
can help "direct" a potential threat to where Joe Homeowner might deal with something better to his advantage!). These things could be enhanced by where doors and windows are located in the home's design.
And by not having too much "glass" for that proverbial "million-dollar-view" too many homeowners think their "mansions" must have!! I can also see how the design a of home's lot and driveway and fenceline are all critical to good home security.
Every now and then I see a home that has a huge rock in its yard as part of its lansscaping design, to deflect and shield any cars the owner is afraid could crash into his house if a drunk or vehicle failed to negotiate a critical turn by that last obstacle! First time I ever saw that was in a home's front yard where too many teenagers couldn't make a slippery turn at the bottom of a hill that ended right before jumping a curb into a front yard! Looked a little funny but was actually a huge hazard.
"Hardening" a home can employ many ideas and philosophies! Sorry if I rambled.