OK guys, quit prodding Richard to go into detail about the 'Witness Protection Program', he can't elaborate any further at this time. He has led a multidimensional life, to say the least.
Douglas, you say: "This would be a pretty stupid place to stick some one on witness protection...small town, every body knows everybody else, and always say Hi or wave...and greet every new face...."
If your neighbors are for the most part trusting, friendly, and not prone to pry, mightn't Cut Bank be the perfect spot to relocate someone in one of these programs? For some reason this has raised my curiosity, so I am relatively serious about this question. If I moved there (and was somehow able to deceive the population into thinking that I was half way normal
), and had a fairly believable story about my history, would the people for the most part be inclined to accept me without too many reservations?
BTW: You are correct in thinking that I have never really had the opportunity to experience any extended period of time in personal interaction with a small town community. I will be the first to admit that someday I'd like to leave where I'm at now, and move to a more rural setting; but I don't know about going as rural as your present address.
Now, here are some possible things on the downside of living where you do: If Canada declares war on the U.S., you and Ernie are in some deep stuff.
I'm assuming (always a dangerous thing) that there's not a slew of ethnic restaurants to dine at. Please tell me there's a place to get good Chinese food.
Now in closing, what could possibly be more appropriate than the late great (not my opinion) Frank Zappa's composition, "Montana." Don't ask me what the lyrics mean, because I haven't got a clue.
Montana: Music and Lyrics by Frank Zappa, 1973
[backing vocals Tina Turner & The Ikettes]
I might be movin' to Montana soon
Just to raise me up a crop of
Dental Floss
Raisin' it up
Waxen it down
In a little white box
That I can sell uptown
By myself I wouldn't
Have no boss,
But I'd be raisin' my lonely
Dental Floss
Raisin' my lonely
Dental Floss
Well I just might grow me some bees
But I'd leave the sweet stuff
To somebody else . . . but then, on the other hand I would
Keep the wax
'N melt it down
Pluck some Floss
'N swish it aroun'
I'd have me a crop
An' it'd be on top (that's why I'm movin' to Montana)
Movin' to Montana soon
Gonna be a Dental Floss tycoon (yes I am)
Movin' to Montana soon
Gonna be a mennil-toss flykune
I'm pluckin' the ol'
Dennil Floss
That's growin' on the prairie
Pluckin' the floss!
I plucked all day an' all nite an' all
Afternoon . . .
I'm ridin' a small tiny hoss
(His name is MIGHTY LITTLE)
He's a good hoss
Even though
He's a bit dinky to strap a big saddle or
Blanket on anyway
He's a bit dinky to strap a big saddle or
Blanket on anyway
Any way
I'm pluckin' the ol'
Dennil Floss
Even if you think it is a little silly, folks
I don't care if you think it's silly, folks
I don't care if you think it's silly, folks
I'm gonna find me a horse
Just about this big,
An' ride him all along the border line
With a
Pair of heavy-duty
Zircon-encrusted tweezers in my hand
Every other wrangler would say
I was mighty grand
By myself I wouldn't
Have no boss,
But I'd be raisin' my lonely
Dental Floss
Raisin' my lonely
Dental Floss
Raisin' my lonely
Dental Floss
Well I might
Ride along the border
With my tweezers gleamin'
In the moon-lighty night
And then I'd
Get a cuppa cawfee
'N give my foot a push . . .
Just me 'n the pygmy pony
Over by the Dennil Floss Bush
'N then I might just
Jump back on
An' ride
Like a cowboy
Into the dawn to Montana
Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Ty-O-Ty-Ay)
Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Ty-O-Ty-Ay)
Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Ty-O-Ty-Ay)
Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Ty-O-Ty-Ay)
Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Ty-O-Ty-Ay)
Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Ty-O-Ty-Ay)
Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Ty-O-Ty-Ay)
Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Ty-O-Ty-Ay)
Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Ty-O-Ty-Ay)
Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Ty-O-Ty-Ay)
Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Ty-O-Ty-Ay)
Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Ty-O-Ty-Ay)