Back to the OP, I went through the Tier 3 training for DADT yesterday. Its interesting how many times DOMA was mentioned as the governing principle which prohibits many of the things people here are concerned about. Add to that the President's direction to the DOJ to not enforce the law - DOMA - even though no circuit court or federal judge has deemed it unconsitutional. Even in the brief they mentioned that we are projecting that DOMA will be repealed next after DADT is signed Oct 1. When that is repealed, because DADT is also repealed, same-sex couples will enjoy all the same benefits in the military as straight couples. (I don't think it will be tried until Obama's second term.)
The remaining issues which I think will be the most painfull will primarily concern the young single barracks occupant who will be forced to live with and shower with people that are openly attracted to their gender. Given the litmus test for every other situation has been, would it be okay if they were different genders? If the answer is no there, it should be no here. But this is the only scenario in which that litmus will not be applied. I anticipate future barracks will be individual rooms, individual showers. There are huge 2nd and 3rd order effects from this from a social/behavioral health standpoint, and one of the big reasons why PTSD/Depression/Suicide have spiked in the last decade. However this will be moving further away from the traditional military community culture of support.
BTW, they will be adding language to the sodomy laws making them okay if its consensual, so rewriting the UCMJ.