+1 on that tensing up in anticipation of a shot, especially after it has bit you. Bench can really get you that way, but so can offhand if you just get used to tensing up before the shot.
What works for me offhand is to pull the butt firmly into my shoulder, keep loose, and hold the front end firmly, rolling back with the shot. On the bench you may have to adjust your posture to a more upright position, not leaning downward and into the gun, which only makes you more of a backstop for the recoil.
And I totally agree that you do what works for you.