Tell your funny LEO stories.

[XD40SC]

I know there are several law enforcement office that visit here. Can you tell us any funny things that happened while on duty. 1. I already told of the one where the drunk women squirted breast milk at the LEO. Here is one from an LEO friend of mine. Seems he and another officer had a bad guy lying down on the street. While in the process of handcuffing him, a driver stopped and asked for directions.

[Spirithawk]

While a Deputy Sheriff we were investigating cattle mutilations. The Sheriff and I went on a call about strange lights in the sky and another mutilated cow. While there a lady walked up to me and quite seriously asked if I was there to arrest the aliens?

[JBlk]

Responded to an overdose call around 2:00 am. one morning years ago.My backup officer was having trouble finding the right address because of incorrect information given him by the dispatcher.During that period of time most of the Officers on the department would leave their squads running while parked at the curb because of the battery drain by the radios. For some unknown reason I shut the car down and stuck the keys in my belt.My backup was still trying to find the address and because of the nature of the call I approached the door and knocked.The door was immediately opened and there stood a  blond female with nothing on but a see through nightgown that didn't leave anything to the imigination.Before I could say anything she pushed the screen door into my face and ran to the squad, and jumped in behind the steering wheel.Any other time she would of been able to drive that squad away, and I could just visualize what the morning headlines would of said.After several trips to the hospital emergency room to have her stomach pumped out we finally got her admitted to a mental health center about noon.

[guzzijohn]

Never been a LEO but this is one of the funner LEO things that I have observed:


I had pulled into a apartment complex. I noticed several police cars and three officers coming back to their cars (no civilians with them either as a perp or otherwise). One of the cops appeared agitated for some reason. He got into his patrol car, started it, gunned the motor, put it into reverse and accelerated quickly and backed into one of those big commercial trash dumpsters. He damaged the rear bumper and left rear fender and lights. The officer got out of the car and kicked the bumper a couple of times, got back into the car and took off. Be interesting to hear what he told his Sargent!
GuzziJohn

[powderman]

While there a lady walked up to me and quite seriously asked if I was there to arrest the aliens?
 
 
SH. WELL? Did ya?? POWDERMAN. 

[Cabin4]

Do you want to know about funny stories that happened while impersonating a LEO?

[OldSchoolRanger]

During that period of time most of the Officers on the department would leave their squads running while parked at the curb because of the battery drain by the radios. ... For some unknown reason I shut the car down and stuck the keys in my belt.... Before I could say anything she pushed the screen door into my face and ran to the squad, and jumped in behind the steering wheel. Any other time she would of been able to drive that squad away, and I could just visualize what the morning headlines would of said.

I have quite a few, but I had to laugh when I read the above.  Before I retired, there was a officer that worked for one of the Highway units in NYC (Dept. will not be revealed).  The guy was a real character, he thought nothing of writing summonses to everybody for the slightest infraction.  Other officers in his Department and other agencies approached him, to be a little more understanding.  His attitude was that the rules (law) are the rules.  One day he stopped for coffee, and left his unit running in violation of department policy.  What happens? A perp jumped into his unit and took off.  He came running out of the coffee shop, trying to stop the perp.  But the guy was gone to the wind.  I don't think many of his fellow officers tried too hard to look for the car.  It was finally recovered by a different agency. The last I heard he got hit with some time on the street, and retired soon after. 
Oh well, the rules are the rules.  I guess the circle is complete.
BTW the morning headlines said: "Career crook takes joy ride in **PD SUV after cop hops out for coffee, leaves car running".

[XD40SC]

Do you want to know about funny stories that happened while impersonating a LEO?

Only if you want to get arrested.

[Goatwhiskers]

I heard that one of New Yawk's finest was being investigated by Internal Affairs.  Seems he shot a street goblin 6 times in the head.  Only thing I wonder is what was the perp doing after the first shot?  Goatwhiskers

[Cabin4]

Do you want to know about funny stories that happened while impersonating a LEO?

Only if you want to get arrested.

I don't have any. Just thought I would ask if you wanted to include those if others had them to offer.....You never know.

[Shu]

When I was in the Sherrifs Acadmey we had a guy that was always trying to be cooler than anyone else. On a dare he jumped out at the donut store wearing only his Sam Browne belt.
He went into the store only to meet the on duty deputy whom we had called and asked to be there. She made comments about the lack of size of his baton. She had the last laugh though she turned him over to our seargent and of course we paid for this indescretion.

[Cabin4]

Why am I not surprised that this LEO story happened at a donut shop?

[Shu]

There was a donut shop 2 blocks from the academy barraks we would run down there and get our fill before physical training in the morning. What is open at 4 AM so you can eat?

[Cabin4]

There was a donut shop 2 blocks from the academy barraks we would run down there and get our fill before physical training in the morning. What is open at 4 AM so you can eat?

I wonder what non LEOs do in similar case?

[Bugflipper]

About 20 years ago the since retired sheriff was around the office bored. He got one of the deputies to take him out serving warrants. The deputy drives to the address the sheriff reads off the warrant. They knock on the door and announce. No response. They see movement on the inside, the sheriff kicks the door in. The perp was fluffy the cat jumping off the back of the couch. The entire house was clear. They see mail on the counter, it's addressed to the new judge. Seeing pictures on the wall they realize they are in the judge's house. They go outside to collect their thoughts and try and figure out how to get out of this one.

The judge's wife pulls up. The Sheriff tells the deputy to mind his tongue. He tells the lady they were riding by and saw the door standing open. Upon further inspection they observed that it had been forced open. The entire house was searched, it didn't appear that the thieves had taken anything and no one found. They helped the lady bring in her groceries, called an installer and had a deputy stand by until the door was put in. The sheriff told the lady there was a crime prevention program going on and a security door was to be installed on any house that had been broken into so there would not be a repeat offense. It just so happened this was the last month of the program, that the security door was $500 but it would  be free. He paid for the door out of his pocket.
He figured out that the new judge had attached his personal contact info on a sticky note for the SO to be able to contact him at home.  Up until the day he retired he claimed he would fire anybody that bought white post it notes for the SO.

[Goatwhiskers]

Then there's the one where a group of New York cops were persuing a BG across some rooftops.  48 rounds were fired, none hitting the BG.  They got their man,though.  He ran right off a three story building.  Goatwhiskers

[OldSchoolRanger]

There was a donut shop 2 blocks from the academy barraks we would run down there and get our fill before physical training in the morning. What is open at 4 AM so you can eat?

I wonder what non LEOs do in similar case?

They go to the same donut shop!