"paraprosdokian":
"Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is
surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation."
"Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a paraprosdokian.
There must be one in here that you can use!
1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and
beat you with experience.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear
bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it
in a fruit salad.
8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then
proceed to tell you why it isn't.
9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is
research.
10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a
train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In
case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'
13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a
successful man is usually another woman.
16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
18. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute
to skydive twice.
19. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
21. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
22. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
23. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever
you hit the target.
24. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
25. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
26. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than
standing in a garage makes you a car.
28. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish
they were.
30. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire
Department usually uses water.
Words of Wisdom
"The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
If you focus on problems, the best you can get is a lack of problems. If you focus on assets, the best you will get is abundance.
from an email; ear
