It goes like Lenny Bruce's 5 stages of grief. First, you just want to shoot, all the time, at anything that moves, you love the guns, the game, the competetion etc. Then, it becomes about how many you shoot, getting your limit, how many various species or competitive venu's you can get into etc, Then it becomes about quality vs quantity, getting the biggest buck, boar, bull, stag etc, a truly "quality, world class" animal. Then it becomes about HOW. You move on to ultra long range shooting, muzzle loading, archery, one shot hunts, it is all about methodology and the choice of weapons, hunt conditions etc. Sounds like you may be moving from 3 into 4, or something like it. I am in my 60th year and contemplating retirement by 62. My eyes are not good ( 25+ years of computer screens etc), I am not in great shape, arthritis, and I have lost several friends to disease, mostly various cancers, in the last few years. In looking over the details I have reviewed mortality tables, statistics , genetic markers, environmental risks etc. I am not morbid, but I am going to die, most likely in 20 to 22 years, with high probably. Sounds like a lot doesn't it? The odds are that when it comes to hunting and outdoor escapades 15 seems most likely. Even 10 years ago I never really considered it at all, as if there were an infinite number. There are not.
I still have to get up before sunrise and hustle off to work, but now I spend more time just looking at them. My wife and I make a point of watching every sunset we can together , she is lucky, she is a cancer survivor. 37 years ago, my mother was not so lucky. A few years later, neither was my father. I go to work surrounded by people who are convinced there are important things going on there, I smile quietly, for I know there is not.
I read Ecclesiastes alot these days, and I find that I need a lot clearer rationale to do almost anything. The flip side, little things dont bug me near as much as they used to. My needs have shrunk, my wants are markedly simpler, if more esoteric.
I notice that almost all of my guns are single shot these days, and though I am rarely unarmed on my walks, I also rarely fire them at anything. I think that I should shoot a few hawks to spare the rabbit population, and increase the odds for stew, but I never do. Call it professional courtesy. How much stew have I eaten anyway? I just love to watch them fly. Anyway, the noise bothers my ears more than it used to, dont hear worth a damn as it is. My rifle is like an old friend, one you know so well that you dont have to say anything, they just know it. We just enjoy the company. I shot 4 dove this year, with my little single barrel 28. I missed 1. They were delicious. I have 10-15 every morning now at my feeder in the yard. The cycle goes on.
It is like George Burns said in Oh God, everything means just exactly as much as YOU think it does, not more, not less. Figure out what is good in your life, and do that thing. Are you the only one? Is that relevant ? All those real opinionated people, been there, done that, to what end? I have spent a lifetime collecting this or that, the great bulk of which my grandson will use up in phase 1, or maybe 2. I watch him with anticipation, for the journey he embarks on I have nearly completed.
There is nothing better than this, that a man should enjoy the fruit of his labor, for that is his portion. Shoot what makes you happy my friend, you know what that is. Nothing else is important, because no one else can enjoy something for you.
Enjoy #4. #5 will arrive right on time, whenever that happens to be.
