OK I agree,
Skuff it up and wipe it down with good solvent like acetone, then shoot it with what ever color suits you!
There are a number of "plastic" paints available. I have had very good luck with Duplicolor truck bed coating. Its not overly rough, but has a texture to it and results in a pleasing feel. I have painted a couple dozen shot gun stocks used in cruisers thru the years and it holds up well and comes out looking like synthetic. Rustoleum also makes a number of "wrinkle" finishes. These too may provide good results.
CW