We absolutely need to have a working relationship with Russia. The 'hot mike' comments are really pushing the limits between 'working relationship' and 'giving away the store'. What is distressing is that he is telling the Russian president (and asking him to convey to his incoming successor) that the American people won't tollerate what they collectively want but that he can dance around the will of those he leads after he has won their support and no longer needs them. His candor speaks volumes on his view of 'consent of the governed'. If he can trick the great unwashed into supporting him, he can do whatever he wishes during his lame duck term.
Regardless of one's position on the speciffics of the misile defense system being discussed, the hubris is overwealming.
Russian leadership culture is diferent than the current American leadership culture. Where we seek leadership through consensus, they rule through strength of their leaders. Our idea of negotiation is compromise, theirs is to push for their benefit. During an election, we publicly characterise an agressive candidate as a 'reckless cowboy' where they see an agressive candidate as a 'strong leader'. We fear that an agressive leader would restart the Cold War, they hope than an agressive leader would win it. It's just a cultural difference.
If both sides were using the same underlying philosophy, the middle ground is likely where the negotiators would meet. If one side pushes and the other steps back, the meeting is off center. His comment doesn't speak of give and take, it speaks of an ability to capitulte to their will after his personal power is sustained. That's why the Russian President was so gracous in his reply. He'd be glad to tell Putin that Obama is willing to give in after the election.
During the Cold War, both sides pushed hard. It was a game for all the marbles and both sides played hard. While I don't wish for a return to 'the bad old days' it is clear that that struggle did not end in nuclear armageddon. The struggle struck some sort of balance and world war 3 was averted. Things are different now. It's not a world of just two superpowers. There can be no return to either the good or bad of that time frame. We are here now. Point is, the Cold War worked then.