Author Topic: roadside memorials (Read 1123 times)

kennyd · « **on:** October 06, 2012, 03:28:08 PM »

Descansos in Mexican. For no particular reason I thought of these today. Colorado has a law against them, period. But you see a lot of them. Right here along Colfax in Aurora, I can remember 16 or so deaths along a 4 mile stretch in the 33 years living here. There are several descansos. 3 motor cycles, one of 4 kids in a car trying to outrun a trooper, missed the curve at around 140, one of a 16 yo bringing home a pizza on a snowy night; the plows had put a pile of snow in the turnout so he couldn't see ahead. I still remember his friends standing there saying he IS coming home any time now. That was 20 and 30 years ago, and there are still new flowers there.
There are "official" signs stating "dont drink and drive" or "watch for motorcycles"; but the ones that make me pause are the homemade ones. I wonder who, why, and how; and who misses them. Most of the time you can recognize the hazard that contributed to the death.
Some of the ardent "no religion" people object to a cross (or crescent or star) being put on public land, and there are others who object to a basicly Mexican practice being carried on. Some do have weathered teddy bears or such, and could be considered trash.

My take is that they make all of us think. If they help the family, so be it. I have no objection to someone having a different religious symbol, or none. The Mexican culture can be a rich one, not to be confused with illegals. As for public property: funeral processions tie up traffic on public roads, but I still will stand or pause with bared head for whomever it is.

BUGEYE · « **Reply #1 on:** October 06, 2012, 03:38:46 PM »

I'll go along with this post. there's a story behind all of them and the "no religion" people need to just move along.

Brett · « **Reply #2 on:** October 06, 2012, 03:47:18 PM »

Religion aside, the practice of placing a shrine at the location where a loved one perished in a tragic accident seems a bit strange to me. The other one I see a lot in my area are the window decals in the rear windows of vehicles memorializing the passing of a loved one. What's up with that ... are they keeping them in the trunk or something?

Guess I'm old school on this but to my way of thinking memorials and grave markers belong at the grave site not at the accident site or rear window of your vehicle.

BUGEYE · « **Reply #3 on:** October 06, 2012, 03:53:30 PM »

Quote from: Brett on October 06, 2012, 03:47:18 PM

Religion aside, the practice of placing a shrine at the location where a loved one perished in a tragic accident seems a bit strange to me. The other one I see a lot in my area are the window decals in the rear windows of vehicles memorializing the passing of a loved one. What's up with that ... are they keeping them in the trunk or something?

Guess I'm old school on this but to my way of thinking memorials and grave markers belong at the grave site not at the accident site or rear window of your vehicle.

I understand what you're saying, but I wonder if they might make someone slow down or otherwise become safer on the road.
of course I've been told here that I should stay off the interstate because I drive 55mph.
I pray every day that the need for memorials will go away.

Ranger99 · « **Reply #4 on:** October 06, 2012, 04:09:44 PM »

i can see where it may help a family cope.
but how long would be proper to leave one up?
i can envision a point where it may be dangerous
to pull to the shoulder for a flat tire, etc. because
of so many memorials. we've had a problem here
because of the ongoing need to maintain medians
and road shoulders and the crews having to do extra
work to get around these memorials safely. shouldn't
the family or loved one who placed these be
responsible for maintenance around the memorial
they placed? there have also been problems
with loved ones stopping at the memorial site
and presenting a traffic hazard. lotta factors at play here $:-\$

FPH · « **Reply #5 on:** October 06, 2012, 04:24:18 PM »

It is very popular with the Hispanic population here. I only object when they are not kept up or the family presents a traffic hazard on a busy interstate or roadway. The memorials do nothing to make me slow down, as drink was usually involved in the accident. I am amazed at the public showing on windshields, t shirts and even tattos.

powderman · « **Reply #6 on:** October 06, 2012, 06:18:24 PM »

Some are way too big. A cop on a run hit some kids not paying attention and killed a boy. He was found not guilty but a civil suit wiped him out. The kids family erected a big cross and other stuff, even had steps going up to the cross. It was done to rub salt in the cops wound. He was a good man and would gladly have given his life for that boy. It was gaudy and distracting. The state took it out in the middle of the night as they were widening the hwy, good riddance. For the most part they are a pita for the mowing crews. Wouldn't bother me for them to all go to the cemetary where memorials belong. POWDERMAN.

srussell · « **Reply #7 on:** October 06, 2012, 06:35:27 PM »

i believe a simple cross would be good if out of the way . but some are totally over kill

bobg · « **Reply #8 on:** October 06, 2012, 11:48:11 PM »

We have 2 here about a mile from my house. One was a very well liked local doctor. Someone run a stop sign and hit her broad side. The other a local radio station announcer. This idiot was told by his doctor due to seizure problems he should not drive. Well guess what. He drove and had a siezure. Hit another car and he was killed. The doctors memorial is very well taken care of. The announcers not very good.

Land_Owner · « **Reply #9 on:** October 07, 2012, 01:49:55 AM »

Not unlike erecting a bird feeder. At first, a few bold ones come. Soon the timid and shy. The ground beneath the feeder becomes littered. Mice, rats and squirrels show up. Snakes sit and wait in the shadows. Soon the whole place is a mess...and your intention was only to feed a few Cardinals.

It started here with circular signs on posts, some had a few artificial flowers. It has blossomed into whole bicycles painted white (4 in Orange County, one in Brevard), a plethora of artificial flowers interwoven in the chain link fences, "gardens" edged and crafted that are the size of a grave, skid marks all over the asphalt pavement where the immature both squeal to a halt suddenly and race off in a tear.

What is a source of remembrance for a few is an eyesore and distraction for many. Let it go. Take these memorials to the Cemetery, where they belong. Remove them from the side of the highway.

oldandslow · « **Reply #10 on:** October 07, 2012, 02:10:54 AM »

Land_Owner beat me to it. You see a lot of them in this neck of the woods. They just become a trash site quickly. Most are there because of a drunk driver.

Memorials to the dead belong in the cemetery, not along public roadways. I think they should be dealt with just like someone that is littering the roadway.

LONGTOM · « **Reply #11 on:** October 07, 2012, 04:09:57 AM »

I too am against memorials along the roadway.
Not for religious reasons but because they can be a hazard and like others have said, hard to mow around and end up just being a unsightly mess as time go by.
As to the memorials on the back glass of a vehicle, to me they are no different then someone having a POW/MIA flag on the back of their vehicle.
I see nothing wrong with them.
It is their right to honor their loved ones or friends in any form they choose as long as it is done with respect.
I guess I could say the same thing about tattoos.
I wouldn't do it but that is just me.

LONGTOM

FPH · « **Reply #12 on:** October 07, 2012, 04:31:10 AM »

Quote from: LONGTOM on October 07, 2012, 04:09:57 AM

I too am against memorials along the roadway.
Not for religious reasons but because they can be a hazard and like others have said, hard to mow around and end up just being a unsightly mess as time go by.
As to the memorials on the back glass of a vehicle, to me they are no different then someone having a POW/MIA flag on the back of their vehicle.
I see nothing wrong with them.
It is their right to honor their loved ones or friends in any form they choose as long as it is done with respect.
I guess I could say the same thing about tattoos.
I wouldn't do it but that is just me.

LONGTOM

I agree with anything someone does on their personal property.....it's their right....I may not do but that's my prerogative. Shrines on public property are another story.

JonnyReb · « **Reply #13 on:** October 07, 2012, 04:48:58 AM »

I had a girlfriend who's son had been run over by a truck, while he was skateboarding where he probably shouldn't have been. It was a true accident. She placed great importance on the spot where his blood returned to the earth and while i'm not into such things i'd never ever begrudge anyone this small symbol, if it helps them to deal with their loss. J

kennyd · « **Reply #14 on:** October 07, 2012, 04:55:47 AM »

Points well taken. I mostly like the simple marker without the extras. The recent theater mess had a pile of junk across the street, with people who had no connection standing there crying their eyes out. It disappeared one day, from the vacant private properety.

JonnyReb · « **Reply #15 on:** October 07, 2012, 05:19:21 AM »

Point taken certainly, a conglomeration of junk piled up shouldn't be tolerated beyond initial greiving. A small marker should be allowed, imho,. J

Spirithawk · « **Reply #16 on:** October 07, 2012, 05:32:51 AM »

We had a large one here at a T section. Truly over kill, no pun intended. A car was speeding down the leg of the T and didn't stop at the cross section nor even try to turn. Ran head on into a rock bluff! The family and friends erected 3 big crosses, placed gobs of flowers, even had several memorial get togethers at the spot. The Highway Department got tired of it as it quickly became an obvious hazzard to traffic. They posted their own sign telling the truth of the matter saying " VICTOMS OF DRUNK DRIVING & DRUGS!" All three victoms were drunk and high on Meth and well known to the Police as addicts, theives and general trouble makers. At least they didn't take an inocent victom with them. I can understand a small cross with a small flower bouquet but some go a bit overboard. Particularly when the spot is on a curve or bad stretch of road and current drivers don't realy need any distraction.

Empty Quiver · « **Reply #17 on:** October 07, 2012, 08:07:52 AM »

Well, I told my wife and kids if they put one up I would do my level best to haunt them to the grave at which point we would have a stern talk.

I think they look foolish at best and are sad and barbaric at worst. I do suppose if my spirit were hanging around the site of the wreck I would leave lest I be judged by the crap stacked at the accident site.

Memorials belong in cemeteries they are built for that purpose.

Sourdough · « **Reply #18 on:** October 07, 2012, 10:00:05 AM »

I am sort of nutral on wheather they should be allowed or not. If done in a manner so as to not interfere with the road crews and not look trashy I'm OK with it. One of Sky's good friends got killed at the intersection where we get onto the highway going into North Pole or Fairbanks. She was crossing the highway at a point where there was no traffic device, on her way to school. Another young student coming down the highway was going to the next exit, and broadsided her. Both were good friends, and both were good friends of Sky's. Three weeks later they started construction on an overpass at that intersection.

The girls parents place a cross and a wreath on one of the large light poles that is located right where her car ended up. It is of material that weathers well and does not look trashy in a few weeks. The cross has been there now for seven years, the wreath gets replaced every year, on the anniversary of her death. A ceremony is held by many of the people that were in her class, other friends, and family. Sky usually attends.

The down side: The young man that was driving the car that hit her could not stand the constant reminder he killed his close friend. he and his family left North Pole and moved to Anchorage. He was not at fault, he was simply driving down the highway. She failed to yield the right of way, and pulled out in front of him while he was doing between 50 and 55 mph. Speed limit was 55. There was three locations where one could cross the highway, all real close together. An over pass was placed in the center location and the other two were closed. Long overdue, that overpass was delayed several years. Sky gets mad every time he thinks about it. If they had not put off building the over pass his friend would not have been killed. Sky sees that wreath every time he leaves and comes home.

Ranger99 · « **Reply #19 on:** October 07, 2012, 10:11:40 AM »

passed about a dozen on the way
home earlier today. one has been there
for a decade at least. it was place there
by family members of folks that were killed
in a bus accident that the driver was found
to have cocaine in his system upon autopsy.
this memorial is knee-high in weeds with
trash and debris collecting on the weeds.
they need to be cleaned up after a period of
time. it's a fire and safety hazard.

loved ones who have died can be better
honored by living a better life of honesty
and morality while we are here and alive.

Conan The Librarian · « **Reply #20 on:** October 08, 2012, 06:12:46 AM »

I first saw these kinds of memorials in central America about 35 years ago, and I thought they were actual burial plots. This one road from the coast to the capital of then-Honduras reminded me of a continuous cemetery.

As for their application in the US, we have places for memorials. They are called cemeteries. They do have the function of being a reminder for us motorists who can use them to identify particularly dangerous stretches of roadway. I live near such a place, and never knew it until some of these monuments cropped up. It turns out that a state trunk highway that's moving at turnpike speeds has smaller roads that feed into it. Typically teenagers will run the stop signs and there will be a horrible crash as a fast moving car t-bones the car that ran the stop sign.

This has lead to some over-kill, no pun intended, in the design of new intersections. Now the stop lights are so restricted that between traffic lights and lead lights, there are six distinct sets of traffic under control, and that leads to unusually long waits at traffic lights that are in a rural area. A simple traffic light without lead lights would have been sufficient.

SHOOTALL · « **Reply #21 on:** October 08, 2012, 06:58:24 AM »

Quote from: Land_Owner on October 07, 2012, 01:49:55 AM

Not unlike erecting a bird feeder. At first, a few bold ones come. Soon the timid and shy. The ground beneath the feeder becomes littered. Mice, rats and squirrels show up. Snakes sit and wait in the shadows. Soon the whole place is a mess...and your intention was only to feed a few Cardinals.

It started here with circular signs on posts, some had a few artificial flowers. It has blossomed into whole bicycles painted white (4 in Orange County, one in Brevard), a plethora of artificial flowers interwoven in the chain link fences, "gardens" edged and crafted that are the size of a grave, skid marks all over the asphalt pavement where the immature both squeal to a halt suddenly and race off in a tear.

What is a source of remembrance for a few is an eyesore and distraction for many. Let it go. Take these memorials to the Cemetery, where they belong. Remove them from the side of the highway.

Good Post !

powderman · « **Reply #22 on:** October 08, 2012, 04:00:36 PM »

Quote from: SHOOTALL on October 08, 2012, 06:58:24 AM

Quote from: Land_Owner on October 07, 2012, 01:49:55 AM
Not unlike erecting a bird feeder. At first, a few bold ones come. Soon the timid and shy. The ground beneath the feeder becomes littered. Mice, rats and squirrels show up. Snakes sit and wait in the shadows. Soon the whole place is a mess...and your intention was only to feed a few Cardinals.

It started here with circular signs on posts, some had a few artificial flowers. It has blossomed into whole bicycles painted white (4 in Orange County, one in Brevard), a plethora of artificial flowers interwoven in the chain link fences, "gardens" edged and crafted that are the size of a grave, skid marks all over the asphalt pavement where the immature both squeal to a halt suddenly and race off in a tear.

What is a source of remembrance for a few is an eyesore and distraction for many. Let it go. Take these memorials to the Cemetery, where they belong. Remove them from the side of the highway.
Good Post !

+2 POWDERMAN.

mechanic · « **Reply #23 on:** October 08, 2012, 04:18:32 PM »

People grieve in different ways....if this helps them, let it be for a while, but then life must go on.

I still keep some little momentos of my Dad..I know my kids will toss them, and thats ok.

Ben

williamlayton · « **Reply #24 on:** October 09, 2012, 12:53:07 AM »

HUMMMM.
I don't understand why folks want to perpetuate their grief--or--seek pity for it. Seems to me it is for personal reasons FOR the living.
They actually perform nothing for the living or the dead.
I don't need no more laws that don't prevent.
Blessings

Brett · « **Reply #25 on:** October 09, 2012, 04:02:58 PM »

Quote from: mechanic on October 08, 2012, 04:18:32 PM

People grieve in different ways....if this helps them, let it be for a while, but then life must go on.

I still keep some little momentos of my Dad..I know my kids will toss them, and thats ok.

Ben

Keeping momentos is one thing, building shrines on the side of the road is a whole different story. One has to do with personal items generally kept relatively private. Wearing dad's pocket watch, keeping mom's favorite quilt on the bed in the spare room type of thing. The other is a very public display most times fabricated from stuff unrelated to the deceased.

Ranger99 · « **Reply #26 on:** October 09, 2012, 04:07:26 PM »

good post brett sir! !

jackruff · « **Reply #27 on:** October 09, 2012, 04:36:28 PM »

They should not be placed on public property.

nw_hunter · « **Reply #28 on:** October 10, 2012, 05:43:18 AM »

Quote from: Brett on October 06, 2012, 03:47:18 PM

Religion aside, the practice of placing a shrine at the location where a loved one perished in a tragic accident seems a bit strange to me. The other one I see a lot in my area are the window decals in the rear windows of vehicles memorializing the passing of a loved one. What's up with that ... are they keeping them in the trunk or something?

Guess I'm old school on this but to my way of thinking memorials and grave markers belong at the grave site not at the accident site or rear window of your vehicle.

I lost a Daughter several years ago at a very dangerous curve where others have been injured or killed. No warning signs, even after all this! My Grandson maintains a small memorial to her there, and the year after we lost her(And it still hurts like hell)They placed some big warning signs. I think the Memorial may have helped.

Brett · « **Reply #29 on:** October 10, 2012, 11:59:25 PM »

nw_hunter, I'm very sorry for your loss.