I'm now able to make accurate news stories of my own based on recent inspiration from the comedy news paper Weekly World News (you know, the Bat Boy people). Here's an example:
About the fiscal cliff, which deals with only about 1/40th of what would be the federal budget if there were actually a federal budget: The republicans methodically give up all of their most important demands, and the democrats get all of theirs. Spending continues. There are no spending cuts. Taxes are raised and the money is squandered. The republicans pat themselves on the back for such a good fight and the democrats blame the republicans for divisiveness and then take credit for breaking the gridlock.
That's a summary.
