Author Topic: First Christmas without Mom. (Read 514 times)

powderman · « **on:** December 24, 2012, 05:30:47 AM »

I thank God daily for the Xtra 3 1/2 - 4 years he gave us with Mom after he said she'd never see Christmas. That ol cancer finally got her.

Growing up I can remember the delicious smells coming from the kitchen as Christmas dinner was being prepared. Moms spcl occasion yeast rolls were such a treat. Pop and I usually got up early and went rabbit hunting. We'd get home about dinner time feeling starved to death, the aroma when we opened the door was undescribable.

We all went through eating at the card table and piano bench as kids and every year we'd ask, Momma can I eat at the big table this year?? Boy oh boy, when you got to the big table you felt like you were really a big shot.

When it was time to hang up our stockings Christmas eve we'd all go to Pop to get one of his big ol hunting socks cause they were bigger and held more goodies. We'd keep slipping notes in the door for santas elves leading up to Christmas, boy that kept Mom and Pop hopping retrieving them, and they'd say they saw an elf if we were being bad, boy that straightened us up.

Santa would leave our gifts wherever our sock was hung, he always seemed to know whos was whos. One year I got a basketball, Gale got the goal. Never a lot of fancy things. I reckon by todays standards we were poor, but we didn't knw it. We were rich with the love of Jesus and 2 wonderful parents. I miss them both terribly. Oh well, Merry Christmas to all my family and friends, and remember, Patty lost her Mother this year too. POWDERMAN.

SwampThing762 · « **Reply #1 on:** December 24, 2012, 05:56:04 AM »

Charlie,

The holidays will never be the same after the loss of someone very close, and very special. Many years ago, I lost the only woman I ever loved. She died on 22 Dec 1993, and was laid to rest on Christmas day. The hurt never goes away, but the holidays take on a newer meaning as a time to celebrate the memories of the loved and lost, of "absent friends, in memory still bright".

Merry Christmas, my friend, and give my kindest regards to Patty.

ST762

Stillkickin · « **Reply #2 on:** December 24, 2012, 06:07:07 AM »

You can do no better to honor your parents than to remember them with such fondness and pass along the richness of their lives with others. May He bless you with his goodness and bring you peace and contentment with those wonderful memories. Have a Merry CHRISTmas with the understanding that others are wishing you the best.

powderman · « **Reply #3 on:** December 24, 2012, 08:00:01 AM »

Every Christmas eve Mom took me to Uncle Charlies house to deliver their gifts. He never married, he dedicated his life to caring for his sister, aunt Minnie, she was pretty well blind. She had the thickest glasses I've ever seen.
Mom always made aunt Minnie a big box of candies, cookies, caramels, fudge, etc. I can still see her throwing her hands in the air and the huge smile as she saw the goodies. Uncle Charlie got a full box of cigars from my Dad, King Edward I believe, maybe swisher sweets. One year Mom decided, no cigars and gave him something else, boy was he disappointed. Day after Christmas Pop went to town and got his cigars. Mom never did that again. I do miss those days. POWDERMAN. Grin

Anna · « **Reply #4 on:** December 24, 2012, 08:34:52 AM »

That's the way my dad is, after mom passed away he has never dated or looked at another woman.
All he would ever say about it was that he always thought it would be him who went first.
He wouldn't let me touch some of the things she had left in place for years. Like he was expecting her
to return. I've done the best I can being the only girl, like the cooking at Thanksgiving and Christmas.
But it will never match what my mother could do and never will.

Powderman I know what your going through, and it has never gotten any easier even if we try to
make it that way. Someone always breaks down then the rest follow. My prayers go out to you, try
to be strong I believe that is the way they would want us to be. I've had to take on the role of
matriarch from the memory's she left behind. That has never been easy to do, but it sounds like you
are in that same position also. Know that she is there with you in spirit and in love, just do as she would have done is all I can say .

KIMBER45 · « **Reply #5 on:** December 24, 2012, 10:45:17 AM »

Powderman - I feel your sadness and loss.

briarpatch · « **Reply #6 on:** December 24, 2012, 10:46:27 AM »

Same thoughts this Christmas Charlie. Lost Dad in Feb. He was always the cook and loved to do it. The rest would get out of the kithen and let him have it. Best 86 year old cook I knew. He could not beat Moms dressing so we would slip around and have her make some even if she had to do it the day before and hide it, Kindly comical. when it came to bisquets he would not even try. Nobody can beat her bisquets, no one.
I miss Dad a lot but I lost my youngest Brother in July and that changed things greatly. We were close and he and his family always came for Thanksgiven and Christmas dinner. We had dinner today, it was not the same. It took everything out of Mom and that will not be the same either.
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE AND COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS EVERYDAY

Doublebass73 · « **Reply #7 on:** December 24, 2012, 01:19:52 PM »

Merry Christmas Charlie, focus on those great memories with mom. You can never make that hole go away but you can fill it with all of the great memories of her.

We buried my girlfriend's Dad a week ago, this will be her and her mom's 1st Christmas without him. His kidney's failed on him. My girlfriend was extremely close to him, it was one of the most beautiful father/daughter relationships I've ever witnessed. It has given me inspiration to be that close with my own children.

powderman · « **Reply #8 on:** December 24, 2012, 03:57:54 PM »

Thanks guys for sharing some great stories and memories. I'm of course saddened but happy that she no longer suffers and is with Jesus. I got 3 more cds of music from her Church that she recorded with them to use when she could no longer play the piano for them. I haven't been able to play them, I'm just not up to it yet.
I remember one year that my Uncle Glen came down from Mich to visit for Christmas, Mom didn't know he was coming, Pop did. Pop hid him in another room and called for Mom to come into the front room. She got part way there and Uncle Glen walked towards her with a huge grin and outstretched arms. She was shocked and dropped whatever she was carrying as she ran to hug her little brother. He had brought a tree topper and broke a kitchen chair putting it on the tree.
Merry Christmas to one and all. Charlie.

GRIMJIM · « **Reply #9 on:** December 24, 2012, 04:11:56 PM »

Sorry for your loss Powderman. I lost my father about a month and a half or so ago so I can relate. I am doing as you are, keeping the fond memories alive.

powderman · « **Reply #10 on:** December 24, 2012, 05:53:53 PM »

Quote from: GRIMJIM on December 24, 2012, 04:11:56 PM

Sorry for your loss Powderman. I lost my father about a month and a half or so ago so I can relate. I am doing as you are, keeping the fond memories alive.

GRIMJIM. I'm sorry for your loss too. Theres at least one more here who has recently lost a loved one, he too is in my prayers.
I reckon I grew up in mayberry in ILL and didn't know it, a cousin said that to me a while back. Times were simpler then, families were closer, friends too.
Last summer at our family reunion one of my cousins and I were talking about reunions many years ago and how we always enjoyed the old folks and their stories. She said, now, we are the old folks. Time sure passed quickly. Mom was the last of her generation in our family, there a very few left her age in the town I grew up in.
Too many times growing up we take them for granted. Talk to the older folks, ask questions, pick their brain. There are so many things they have seen and done thast we never will. When they die all that stored up knowledge is lost forever. Merry Christmas. Charlie.

Steelbanger · « **Reply #11 on:** December 25, 2012, 02:45:55 AM »

Powderman,

I too know your loss. This is the fourth Christmas since my beautiful wife of 49 years has passed away. The pain of our separation still lingers and I suspect it will never go away.

I wish you peace this Christmas morning and pray you find consolation with your memories, some of which you related to us.

Here in Pennsylvania we have a beautiful morning with some fresh snow. The only tracks I'll be making in it will be at the cemetery where I often visit to talk with my wife.

Merry Christmas to all.
Frank

RevJim · « **Reply #12 on:** December 25, 2012, 02:52:13 AM »

Merry Christmas all...and may our memories of all our passed loved ones remain clear and vivid.

powderman · « **Reply #13 on:** December 25, 2012, 04:35:01 PM »

Patty has tried so hard to make this a great day but I've been pretty down all day, kinda down in the dumps. Losing Mom and Christmas has bothered me a lot more than I thought it would, I didn't expect it to bother me like this. Tomorrow will be better. Thanks for the prayers. POWDERMAN.

thumper113 · « **Reply #14 on:** December 25, 2012, 05:11:25 PM »

Prayers are with you Charlie. List Dad in July.

Was making it through okay until Ivtook a picture with my grandkids and Mom immediately showed me his picture with his grandkids.

Went out to the cemetery today. I know he's not really there but it was pretty rough.

God Blessed us with eight years after they diagnosed him.

He was my best friend.

powderman · « **Reply #15 on:** December 25, 2012, 06:04:42 PM »

THUMPER. Thanks. God blessed us with another 4 yrs after the doc said she'd never see Christmas. We were blessed that she was able to attend our family reunion in June, she was gone within 2 mo. I'm dead tired from the pain pills and not being able to sleep but feel kinda keyed up at the same time. She loved to go to the Catholic Charity store and putter around. I'd make the rounds in 5 min then find a comfy seat and let Mom and patty putter around to their hearts content. She said my sisters didn't take her often enough so she looked forward to that every trip. I believe there were 35 of us there last Christmas. Things will get better in a few days I'm sure. POWDERMAN.

thumper113 · « **Reply #16 on:** December 25, 2012, 06:21:05 PM »

They will get better. You've had a rough year and are in my prayers daily.

You sure have some good stories and memories. While I know you miss her, I also know they'll put a smile on your face if you let them.

When I get down about Dad I think about taking him to the flea market. In the last year he had to use a wheelchair and I'd take him to the flea market to browse.

Never bought much but had stories about so much of the old stuff we'd come across. All it takes is remembering his laugh to ease my self pity and bring out on a smile.

I may be sad, but he's the first person I ever knew that passed that there was no doubt of his salvation. Daddy's smiling and worshiping right now. He's whole with no pain.

We brought each other a lot of joy. I'm gonna hang on to that.

streak · « **Reply #17 on:** December 25, 2012, 06:25:50 PM »

Powderman,
You have my heart felt sympathy in the loss of your mom. I lost my mom back in Feb., 2010, and also, like your mom she was a great cook! I certainly miss all of the great times and great meals that we shared.
My mother had one thing that she considered on her " Bucket List" and that was to write a cook book before she left this earth! She did write it and had it published and it was a great seller!

Doublebass73 · « **Reply #18 on:** December 26, 2012, 05:36:50 AM »

Good story Charlie, it's nice that you had all that extra time with her. Sometimes people die suddenly and the family doesn't get that extra time to cherish and say goodbye.

My girlfriend is having a very rough time still. It's only been a week and a half since her father passed. He was quite an interesting man, he was a Maine fisherman who also enjoyed playing lead guitar in his country band. He fished every day until he was 75 years old. I was lucky to have gotten to know him and hear some of the stories.

BUGEYE · « **Reply #19 on:** December 26, 2012, 05:54:38 AM »

My worst times is Mothers day and Fathers day. you want so bad, to pick up the phone and call them.
you never quit missing them.