My heart goes out to both of you. Losing a loved one, especially a spouse is hard to endure. Until the day its reviled, we will not know the the whys of God's actions. Life is full of sorrow, disappointments, and grief. Life's plans are so quickly and easily dashed by illness and death. In the blink of an eye your life and the plans you have for it can end or change instantly. Bad things do happen to good people.
Until the day God, wipes every tear from our eyes. Where there will be no more death, mourning, crying, or pain. We, left on earth until our time, has to endure sorrow.