Liberals, Conservatives and Southerners

[Haywire Haywood]

How do you tell the difference between Liberals, Conservatives and Southerners?

Pose the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.

You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Liberal Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

Conservative Answer:

BANG!

Southerner's Answer :

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click...
(sounds of reloading).

Wife: "Hun, he looks like he's still moving, whadda y'all kids think?"

Son: "Mama's right Daddy, I saw it, too."
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.

Daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"

[Big Blue]

HH,
  LOL  :-D    :-D  The only thing I could add, is that up North here, were taught to save a few shots, because the trees are full of nuts and likly as not, when the wind blows one nut down, more on on their way. We have a two shot per nut limit, if that don't work your in need of a bigger caliber. :-D    :-D
Don

[Badnews Bob]

:-D Hey Big Blue thats what the three other clips and the .357 in yer wifes purse are for :-D  :-D  :twisted:  :twisted:  :blaster:

[Ed Hill]

Haywire, the liberal part isn't funny, it's true! As reported in yesterday's S.F. Chronicle, Berkeley KA is considering getting some police dogs. Large protest going on over the posibility of the dogs being used to "oppress low income or minority people". The fact that the dogs offer another level of protection for the police isn't even in the equation.
E.D.