Is it all gone? Null and void?

[Ranger99]

The subject came up again
among some of us that knew
a couple, a former happily
married couple that split a
couple of years ago.
"A" was a friend of mine along
with his wife "B" . They had
2 children that were young
when I first knew them all
and watched them grow into
adults and good citizens.
The situation was that A
became extremely ill and was
hospitalized and not expected
to live at first. But he made
it through and recovered
enough that after some time
he was sent home and slowly
started to recover. Just after
returning home B told A that
she was leaving, and running
away with C , a man they'd
known for years.
My conflict with some other mutual
friends was that they were on the
woman's side and was making
excuses " she deserves to be happy.  ."
etc. etc.  whereas I was saying
" whatever happened to marriage vows
In sickness and in health, etc. "

Whatever happened to fidelity and
faithfulness and loyalty among men
and women? I guess I'm way behind
times and missed something in between
when I was young and being raised up
and now that I'm not quite elderly.
I would have also thought some of
the opposite siders would have mulled
it over some and maybe had changed
their opinion to some degree, but no

[BUGEYE]

" whatever happened to marriage vows?
In sickness and in health, etc. "

And don't forget "until death do you part."

[Ranger99]

JMHO-  the death didn't happen as
anticipated so the parting had to
move along

[Ranger99]

I made some unhappy when I
said to put the shoe on the other
foot.  What if she'd had breast
cancer, and they got her done
and at home and he packed a
bag and walked?

[ironglow]

.
    I cannot speak for others, but my one-and-only, passed away nearly 3.5 years ago.  Friends have suggested
  that I start dating others.

  I would never have left her for another, even though her last months were in a nursing home.

  It was about 2 years ago, that an old acquaintance, who lives in a southern state called, expressing her
  sympathy, since she had just got word of my wife's passing. This lady and her husband previously lived near here, and used to visit local churches with their music and singing.

  Her husband was a fine man..and she a beautiful woman..and she is still a "looker".  Sadly, she lost her husband
  about 5 years ago.

  She has made a practice of furnishing room for Christian friends travelling south, to stay in one of her spare
  rooms.  She said if I go south..she has that room available for me.

   I took her up on it, and we had a great visit for a couple days.    Very sweet lady...but not for me..

  Others can find a new love after great loss..and bless them for that...

  ...But as for me,  I'm a bit different I guess..   I'll "sail my ship alone" until I finally arrive home....

[Ranger99]

The people I was referring to were both
alive and married for 35+ years at the time
his wife took a hike.
It would have been different had he died
IMO. She just wanted to go away.
He did recover quite a bit to the point he
could drive again and did ok with a cane
for 4 or 5 years
Losing your mate is a different scenario
altogether

[BUGEYE]

  ...But as for me,  I'm a bitdifferent I guess..   I'll "sail my ship alone" until I finally arrive home....

I think that I would feel guilty if I found another woman if, GOD forbid, something happened to Nancy.
I'm inclined to sail a similar ship.

[ironglow]

The people I was referring to were both
alive and married for 35+ years at the time
his wife took a hike.
It would have been different had he died
IMO. She just wanted to go away.
He did recover quite a bit to the point he
could drive again and did ok with a cane
for 4 or 5 years
Losing your mate is a different scenario
altogether

   Which is why I said the following as my second sentence;

   "I would never have left her for another, even though her last months were in a nursing home."

   

[teamnelson]

I very rarely perform weddings anymore, even between two believers who are biblically free to marry. Most young folks even raised in the church have been saturated with worldly standards of happiness, not just from school or media, but from youth pastors, even pastors. My questions when someone says they want to get married is usually, do you think Jesus should divorce you if you make Him unhappy? If not, why not? Are you willing to approach your marriage with the same commitment? If not, I won't be doing your wedding. Invariably they'll find another pastor to perform their wedding. To the original question, as long as pastors stoop to the world's standards, I see no other influence in society to bolster commitment.

[oldandslow]

Some people take it seriously when they make a vow, others do not. It's just the way humans work. I don't lose a lot of sleep over things I can't change.

[Mule 11]

I remember my sister saying, well if it doesn’t work I’ll get a divorce. Right before she got married. Any guesses how it turned out?

[Ranger99]

I remember my sister saying, well if it doesn’t work I’ll get a divorce. Right before she got married.. . .

That's a common attitude in 2021, unfortunately

[ironglow]

I very rarely perform weddings anymore, even between two believers who are biblically free to marry. Most young folks even raised in the church have been saturated with worldly standards of happiness, not just from school or media, but from youth pastors, even pastors. My questions when someone says they want to get married is usually, do you think Jesus should divorce you if you make Him unhappy? If not, why not? Are you willing to approach your marriage with the same commitment? If not, I won't be doing your wedding. Invariably they'll find another pastor to perform their wedding. To the original question, as long as pastors stoop to the world's standards, I see no other influence in society to bolster commitment.

 Kudos, to you, TN..you hold to the truth!  Too many "clergy", are willing to compromise the word..go along..to get along..

  Today there are TV shows.."marriage at first sight", and other stupid things which add to the confusion........
  of cheapening something meant to be a life long commitment, into a frivolous fling.

[Dee]

I remember my sister saying, well if it doesn’t work I’ll get a divorce. Right before she got married. Any guesses how it turned out?

Kinda like "prenuptial agreements". Just in case this doesn't work. 

[ironglow]

.
   There is wisdom in doing things the "traditional way".  Take a couple years to get to truly know one another well, before contemplating marriage, and refrain from the physical stuff.

  That's how it worked back when marriages for the most part, lasted for life.  So there must be some wisdom in the process.

  In my opinion, this is just one result of so many people in our culture, divorcing themselves..and their children from God !

  I suspect that many here like myself, have watched the rapid dissolution of our culture and the decline of  cohesiveness among the people. 

  I think we can point back to the 1960s, and the rise of.... 'self above all'  ...even above God!

  "Sow the wind, reap the whirlwind."

 

[DDZ]

The new trend today is to not even have a pastor as the wedding officiant.  States have different rules on this, but some are able to just get a friend or acquaintance to do it.  Colorado is a state where you can just get a marriage license at a DMV, go somewhere just the two of you say your vows, sign your marriage license, turn it in, and its all legal.