Subject: JEFF FOXWORTHY ON WISCONSIN
>>
>>
>>
>> SERIES I:
>>
>> If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18
>> inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by,
>> you might live in Wisconsin.
>>
>> If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too spendy", you
>> might live in Wisconsin.
>>
>> If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might
>> live in Wisconsin.
>>
>> If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year,
>> you might live in Wisconsin.
>>
>> If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you
>> might live in Wisconsin.
>>
>> If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his
>> forehead, you might live in Wisconsin.
>>
>> If you may not have actually eaten it, but you have heard of Lutefisk, you
>> might live in Wisconsin.
>>
>> If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in
>> Wisconsin.
>>
>> If you have either a pet or a child named "Brett", you might live in
>> Wisconsin.
>>
>> If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in
>> Wisconsin.
>>
>> If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a
>> wrong number, you might live in Wisconsin.
>>
>> If you know how to say Oconomowoc, Waukesha, Menomonie &Mnitowoc, you
>> might live in Wisconsin.
>>
>> If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy, you might live in
>> Wisconsin.
>>
>> If every time you see moonlight on a lake, you think of a dancing bear, and
>> you sing gently, "From the land of sky-blue waters, ....you might live in
>> Wisconsin.
>>
>> Series II. YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE WISCONSINITE WHEN:
>>
>> 1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the
>> highway.
>>
>> 2. "Vacation" means going up north past Hwy 8 for the weekend.
>>
>> 3. You measure distance in hours.
>>
>> 4. You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
>>
>> 5. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
>>
>> 6. Your whole family wears Packer Green to church on Sunday.
>>
>> 7. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard,
>> without flinching.
>>
>> 8. You see people wearing camouflage at social events, (including
>> weddings).
>>
>>
>> 9. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
>> unlocked.
>>
>> 10. You think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and venison.
>>
>> 11. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to
>> use them.
>>
>> 12. There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Mill's Fleet Farm
>> at any given time.
>>
>> 13. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
>>
>> 14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
>> snow.
>>
>> 15. You refer to the Packers as "we."
>>
>> 16. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road
>> construction.
>>
>> 17. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
>>
>> 18. You have no problem pronouncing Lac Du Flambeau.
>>
>> 19. You consider Minneapolis exotic.
>>
>> 20. You know how to polka.
>>
>> 21. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your
>> blue spruce.
>>
>> 22. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
>>
>> 23. Down South to you means Iowa.
>>
>> 24. A brat is something you eat.
>>
>> 25. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.
>>
>> 26. You go out to fish fry every Friday.
>>
>> 27. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
>>
>> 28. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
>>
>> 29. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
>>
>> 30. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your
>> Wisconsin friends.
>>
