What makes a man hold a rifle, charge a sniper's nest, come to the aid of, and even give his own life, for another? Withering and whimpering in the face of "evil words", Orange Man bad, is troubling in the extreme. We need none of them. There are wolves, sheep, and sheep dogs.
I have no use for or tolerance of weak men. Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. And, weak men create hard times.
Today's lesson in world history -
Most people know that humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunter / gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.
The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups: Liberals and Conservatives.
Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor the aluminum can were invented yet so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.
Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to barbecue at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.
Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly barbecues and doing the sewing, fetching and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement. Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girlie men.
Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy and group hugs and the concept of democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.
Over the years, conservatives in the US came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals there are symbolized by the jackass. In Canada, political parties don't have unique animal symbols, but Liberals try to claim legitimacy by wrapping themselves in the Canadian flag while Quebec separatists (socialists one and all) prefer a delicate little flower, the fleur-de-lys.
Modern liberals like imported beer but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water (why any self-respecting Canadian would drink imported water when we have more water than anyone else on earth, I do not know). They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men.
Most social workers, journalists, show biz dreamers and group therapists are liberals. Extreme liberals include the rent-a-crowd bunch, Jack Layton adherents, and anyone else who is opposed to progress or a thinking person's point of view. These people should not be allowed to vote nor reproduce.
Conservatives drink domestic beer and in polite company, red wine. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, bankers, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Canadians or Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to North America to build new nations. Liberals crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a mindset of trying to get more for nothing.
Here ends today's lesson in world history: It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it. A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers. And to more liberals just to tick them off.
