Those Arbys salads ARE good, but a little pricey - we like the Marthas Vineyard salads.
Just to make this muzzleloading-related, try eating your salad with a patch jag. Just screw it in about 3 turns. Works better than a fork!
And Pyrodex pellets for croutons - just hope your teeth aren't "capped."
Yuck, yuck, yuck.