Author Topic: Dang Bigfoot (Read 1678 times)

Mikey · « **on:** September 09, 2004, 03:13:49 AM »

Is runnin' off with our women again.

The Weekly World News for 9/13/04 prints that a 27 yr old Beverly Hills socialite was kidnapped by Bigfoot, held captive for 4 months in a tree house 150' off the ground, treated like a love slave and is now 'in a family way' with his child. Oh well, it had to happen in kalifornika. Ok, that's the bad news. Now, the even worse news is that she (the former love slave) says Bigfoot is a tender lover and likes to cuddle afterward.

Do you guys have any idea what that will do to our macho image if the original man, hairy as he is, turns out to be a tender and gentle lover who likes to cuddle. Do you realize how this may change things if our women ever find out about this? That literally means the end to the "Honey, go get me another beer" afterward demand, or whatever. Dang, we may have to change our whole way of life.

She (the victim) spoke to his tendeness as a lover and of pulling ticks from his fur after their lovemaking - how homey.... She also remarked how romantic it was looking up at the stars through the roof - I woulda asked what the hay happened to the roof but, I guess she fell in love. She also remarked that he didn't appear to be the kind who would turn out to be a deadbeat dad - all this from the blonde heiress to a 75 million dollar ball bearing company fortune, like ya know.

Anyhow, the baby ( in utero) appears to be quite large and may weigh as much as 15 pounds at birth - probably start shaving at 3 months, too.

Now, apparently this isn't the only situation like this. Concerned researchers warn that sexual assualts on humans by Bigfoots have reached an all-time high this year with 62 cases reported nationwide. However, there are only two reported cases of sexual assaults by humans on Bigfoots - hmmmm, I wonder why????????

Now, all of this was reported in the same piece of literary excellence which also reported that an alien hugged and kissed G.W. at the RNC in NYC, that john kerry is possessed by Al Gore and that former president slick willie is about to switch brains with a horney dog (so what will be the difference).

I dunno guys, seems like things are just goin' to pot around here (lol). Mikey.

Patriot_1776 · « **Reply #1 on:** September 09, 2004, 06:55:03 AM »

Yeah, yeah, yeah.:roll: I have seen garbage stories like that before. They even said Elvis Presley was alive.

What about that "Bat Boy" story? Don't hear much about that one anymore. If it were true, there would be such an outcry, especially with the animal activist whackos who don't want us even thinning forests to help prevent massive firestorms. They say it will kill off the newly-found "Wagon-wheel butterfly larvae" (emphasis added) or some other made up species that live ONLY in this area. I generally don't trust those magazines anymore. They are just "publicity" order junk. Make up stories only to get some gullible person to waste money on nothing more that perfect firestarters at the campsite. I'll admit, maybe there is some truth in what they said about the "World's Fattest Couple" article, but I don't ever buy them; just look at the front pages at the grocery store while waiting in line at checkout. Patriot

bullet maker · « **Reply #2 on:** September 10, 2004, 05:17:28 PM »

Hi Mikey

I`d be more concerned about the two human`s that raped Bigfoot :-D :-D :-D :-D . I wouldn`t want them for neighbors, :-D :-D :-D , what am I saying, :shock: I already have neighbors like that out here already :shock: :eek: .

bullet maker

Graybeard · « **Reply #3 on:** September 10, 2004, 05:31:44 PM »

Yeah Bullet Maker, but what I wanna know is who reported those two rapes. Were the humans bragging or the big foots (feet???) complaining? :-D

bullet maker · « **Reply #4 on:** September 10, 2004, 05:38:33 PM »

Quote from: Graybeard

Yeah Bullet Maker, but what I wanna know is who reported those two rapes. Were the humans bragging or the big foots (feet???) complaining? :-D

I hear ya Greybeard :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

bullet maker :grin:

7magWoodsman · « **Reply #5 on:** September 10, 2004, 06:21:40 PM »

Quote from: Patriot_1776

I generally don't trust those magazines anymore.

Do you mean that at some point in your life you actually did trust those types of tabloids???

Patriot_1776 · « **Reply #6 on:** September 10, 2004, 07:02:59 PM »

7magWoodsman wrote:

Quote

Do you mean that at some point in your life you actually did trust those types of tabloids???

No, never did buy one or believe them; only looked at the front pages as I found them. :roll: When I was younger I somewhat thought they were interesting; gave me a good laugh when I needed one. But I thoroughly disregarded what they said as nonsense. Also, I never really knew how anybody could go that far to get people to buy their tabloids. A touch of "slip of the lip" on my original post. No need for concern :-D

Patriot

fyrepowrx · « **Reply #7 on:** September 20, 2004, 12:48:59 PM »

Is the victim indicating whe expects child support? we cant have any "deadbeat dad" bigfeet (i assume that is the correct plural for bigfoot) running around poplulating the planet with illegitimate hairy children; since after all we just now got saddam & his boys to stop doing that overseas & it should NOT be tolerated in the People's Republic of Kalifornika.... i think some compensation is due for the victim here.

To be totally fair though, are we sure she did not entice him into this illicit romance? maybe she has a thing for the "strong tall man-like" type (oops i mean manly). Did she tease hime...maybe she had it coming to her, what with the flirty attitude & the "take me now you smelly varmint" smile... you all know what i mean; you know the look.... i think maybe HE is the victim here..

Prisoner's Anvil · « **Reply #8 on:** September 20, 2004, 06:04:36 PM »

It's not the fault of the BigFeet Dads. Most of the deadbeat BigFeet dads end up roaming the North Woods...directionless. Not sure about how they can make a difference. Just sort of drifting along in their lives.

A couple of years ago, I came across an organization that was dedicated to giving aimless BigFeet a direction in Life. No...I'm not a recruiter...but if I was would you be willing to hear me out?

If you know any aimless BigFeet out there, have them check out this website....TODAY!

http://zapatopi.net/bsa/militia.html

DPRinks · « **Reply #9 on:** October 02, 2004, 04:27:21 PM »

In Northeast Texas, near Texarkana, are a "family- race -group ? of people who have hair as long as 4" over most of their bodies, I have seen some of these people in town with hair coming out of their clothes in all sorts of places. This was both men and women.
I have read that a region in Mexico has some people who are very hairy, is this a possible result of some Bigfoot assults?
Don

Loader 3009 · « **Reply #10 on:** October 03, 2004, 05:50:26 AM »

I knew a fellow who suffered from the same genetical disorder. He looked like a werewolf.......and he smelled bad, too. Don't know if he was married or not. Probably had a hard time getting a date. :wink: