You said you were getting a lot of fishtailing...and i think you meant to say that your wifes arrows did NOT perform any better.  Please correct me if I am wrong.  
I would suggest going to a heavier spined arrow.  Because of the heavier spine, they will stop fishtailing and will start grouping.  If you go too heavy, they will group farther to the left of bull.  I also shoot self bows and they ARE finicky.  They do take a bit of tinkering to get it just right.  You also stated that your draw is 28 1/2.  For every 1" past the stated draw length (50# @ 28"), the draw weight typically increases 3#.  You also have to add 3# for every inch over that (29 1/2) for another 5#...total 50+1+5= 56# minimum.  Folks frequently underspine their arrows rather than overspine.  Overspining will NEVER hurt your bow, whereas underspining will create all kinds of issues.
Sounds like a great bow.  Don't give up, you're almost there!