Stole this one from the surplus rifle site! :grin:
A group of Australian army recruits were in the basic stage of infantry training at Kapooka. Word came through to HQ that one of the young recruits' father had died of a heart attack. The CO took aside the Sergeant-Major and told him:
"Young Pike's father died last night of a heart attack. Being a father figure to the lads, i think you should break it to him."
"Consider it done, Sir"
So the Sergeant bounds off to the morning parade. It starts with Roll-call at the end of which the Sergeant-Major announced:
"Private Pike, take one step forward"
He tentatively did.
"Private Pike, your father died of a heart attack last night. Platoon, dismissed."
And with that, everybody shuffled off. Except Private Pike, who was glued to the stop, struck down with Grief.
After two weeks break to attend the funeral and spend time with his family, he rejoined the training. After another two weeks word came through to HQ that his mother had just died in a car accident. The CO took aside the Sergeant Major again;
"Listen Sergeant Major, Private Pike's mother died last night in a car accident. What you did last time was a bit blunt, but you need to get this kind of thing right. Try and break it to the boy slowly, and let him think it through himself."
"No worries, Sir."
So the Sergeant-Major walks off again to the morning parade. With his troops lined up he does the roll-call and and then barks:
"Hands up who has a mother?
PRIVATE PIKE, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"
