Author Topic: 19 Ways to be a "Good" Democrat  (Read 472 times)

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Offline Dano Bofano

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19 Ways to be a "Good" Democrat
« on: January 04, 2006, 08:01:32 AM »
19 WAYS TO BE A "GOOD" DEMOCRAT

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on
demand

2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments
create prosperity.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are
more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of
Chinese and North Korean communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by
soccer moms driving SUV's.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual
is natural.

7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal
funding.

8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how
to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony
activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually
doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money
to make The Passion Of The Christ for financial gain only.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of
the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts
of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more
important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee, and
Thomas Edison &A.G. Bell.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial
quotas and set-asides are not.

16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice
person.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

18. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag,
transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and
manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal..

19. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing
conspiracy.
 :roll:
Proud to be a true American.

Offline nomosendero

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19 Ways to be a "Good" Democrat
« Reply #1 on: January 04, 2006, 03:21:25 PM »
Thanks, I will make copies & pass around!!
You will not make peace with the Bluecoats, you are free to go.

Offline magooch

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19 Ways to be a "Good" Democrat
« Reply #2 on: January 05, 2006, 03:51:56 AM »
Good list Dano, but you forgot a few:

1. Bush stole the election in 2000 and 2004.

2. Bush plotted with Osama to bring down the twin towers.

3. Bush is responsible for all the natural disasters that have hit this country in the past few years.

4. Bush is incapable of tying his shoes and on, and on, and on...
Swingem

Offline mjbgalt

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19 Ways to be a "Good" Democrat
« Reply #3 on: January 05, 2006, 05:01:18 PM »
You have to believe that Bush is a bumbling fool who can't tie his own shoes yet is running a huge right wing conspiracy and has the whole world fooled, except you.

-Matt
I have it on good authority that the telepromter is writing a stern letter.